Your morning Smile
09-26-2003 | 07:11 AM
#31
Thread Starter
It's my pot and I'll stir it if I want to. If you're not careful, I'll stir your's as well!
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,198
Likes: 173
From: Central Mexico.
Re:Your morning Smile
If you want to be a great leader with a large following, simply obey the speed limit on a winding, two lane road.
09-26-2003 | 09:17 AM
#33
Registered User
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,839
Likes: 0
From: Sharpsburg KY
Re:Your morning Smile
author=Mexstan
Subject: CLOCKS IN HEAVEN:
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she
never told a lie."
"Incredible," said Hillary. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved
twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bill's clock?" asked Hillary.
"Bill's clock is in Moses' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Subject: CLOCKS IN HEAVEN:
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she
never told a lie."
"Incredible," said Hillary. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved
twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bill's clock?" asked Hillary.
"Bill's clock is in Moses' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
09-30-2003 | 10:57 AM
#34
Thread Starter
It's my pot and I'll stir it if I want to. If you're not careful, I'll stir your's as well!
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,198
Likes: 173
From: Central Mexico.
Re:Your morning Smile
The artist was getting so frustrated at not being able to mix exactly the colour he wanted that finally he gave up and accepted that it was a pigment of his imagination.
09-30-2003 | 12:35 PM
#35
Registered User
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 49
Likes: 0
From: Central New Mexico
Re:Your morning Smile
Y'all may have already seen this one:
Old cowboy went into a bar and was sitting sipping his whisky. A young lady came over and sat down beside him. She looked at him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?". He replied, "I brand steer, corrall horses, mend fences, ride the range, - yeah, I guess you could say I'm a cowboy." She said, "Well, I'm a lesbian. I think about women all day. When I'm in the shower, having lunch, walking down the street, sleeping, - whatever I'm doing, I think about women." She then got up and walked away. A couple of minutes later, a man came over and sat down beside the old cowboy. He sipped his drink and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" The old guy took a sip of his drink, looked at his neighbor and said, "Well, I thought I was. But I just found out I'm a lesbian."
DW
Old cowboy went into a bar and was sitting sipping his whisky. A young lady came over and sat down beside him. She looked at him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?". He replied, "I brand steer, corrall horses, mend fences, ride the range, - yeah, I guess you could say I'm a cowboy." She said, "Well, I'm a lesbian. I think about women all day. When I'm in the shower, having lunch, walking down the street, sleeping, - whatever I'm doing, I think about women." She then got up and walked away. A couple of minutes later, a man came over and sat down beside the old cowboy. He sipped his drink and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" The old guy took a sip of his drink, looked at his neighbor and said, "Well, I thought I was. But I just found out I'm a lesbian."
DW
09-30-2003 | 04:32 PM
#37
Registered User
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,515
Likes: 0
From: The 951-Flatbill center of the universe
Re:Your morning Smile
Blind guy walks into Sears with his seeing eye dog. Goes to the middle of the store, picks the dog up by the tail and starts swinging him around in circles. A clerk comes up and asks him' "Can I help you sir?". "No", he replies, " just looking around".
10-03-2003 | 07:09 AM
#38
Thread Starter
It's my pot and I'll stir it if I want to. If you're not careful, I'll stir your's as well!
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,198
Likes: 173
From: Central Mexico.
Re:Your morning Smile
Politicians seldom use big words. They're smart enough to know there's always the possibility that they may have to eat them later.
10-03-2003 | 10:59 AM
#39
I was banned per my own request for speaking the name Pelosi
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,908
Likes: 0
From: Bristol Michigan
Re:Your morning Smile
Mexstan, I think you need to find a new mailing list to join! 
Gentleman with a hairlip is walking his dog downtown trying to find a vet. He sees a fella on the corner reading apaper, leaning ona lamp post.
"Excuthe me kind thir, can you help me find a vet?"
The guy lowers the paper, glares at him, goes back to reading the paper.
"Excuthe me thir, maybe you couldn't underthtand me. I athked you iff you knew wher i could find a vet. I have a very thick dog."
The guy lowers the paper, glares at the man walking the dog, with a red face. He then raises the paper and starts turning pages furiously.
"Thanks a lot thir! I gueth I'll have to find one mythelf."
He leaves, dragging the poor dog. By a leash.
A shop keeper charges out of the store and approaches the man reading the paper.
"Het buddy! I heard what was going on! I see you out here every day! Why couldn't you at least point that poor guy to the vet around the corner there!"
Man with the paper," Holy thmokes, you think I want to get my thilly but kicked?"
Gentleman with a hairlip is walking his dog downtown trying to find a vet. He sees a fella on the corner reading apaper, leaning ona lamp post.
"Excuthe me kind thir, can you help me find a vet?"
The guy lowers the paper, glares at him, goes back to reading the paper.
"Excuthe me thir, maybe you couldn't underthtand me. I athked you iff you knew wher i could find a vet. I have a very thick dog."
The guy lowers the paper, glares at the man walking the dog, with a red face. He then raises the paper and starts turning pages furiously.
"Thanks a lot thir! I gueth I'll have to find one mythelf."
He leaves, dragging the poor dog. By a leash.
A shop keeper charges out of the store and approaches the man reading the paper.
"Het buddy! I heard what was going on! I see you out here every day! Why couldn't you at least point that poor guy to the vet around the corner there!"
Man with the paper," Holy thmokes, you think I want to get my thilly but kicked?"
10-03-2003 | 11:07 AM
#40
Thread Starter
It's my pot and I'll stir it if I want to. If you're not careful, I'll stir your's as well!
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,198
Likes: 173
From: Central Mexico.
Re:Your morning Smile
[quote author=Redleg link=board=10;threadid=17471;start=30#msg192339 date=1065196756]
Mexstan, I think you need to find a new mailing list to join!
[/quote]
Really? The why are you adding to this silly thread?
Mexstan, I think you need to find a new mailing list to join!
[/quote]
Really? The why are you adding to this silly thread?
10-03-2003 | 11:40 AM
#43
I was banned per my own request for speaking the name Pelosi
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,908
Likes: 0
From: Bristol Michigan
Re:Your morning Smile
I think it's sinking in... 
You can't post those and not expect a kick in the rear. Keep'em coming though, I don't mind picking on you.
You can't post those and not expect a kick in the rear. Keep'em coming though, I don't mind picking on you.
10-03-2003 | 11:43 AM
#44
Thread Starter
It's my pot and I'll stir it if I want to. If you're not careful, I'll stir your's as well!
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,198
Likes: 173
From: Central Mexico.
Re:Your morning Smile
[quote author=Redleg link=board=10;threadid=17471;start=30#msg192353 date=1065199202]
I think it's sinking in...
I don't mind picking on you.
[/quote]
Gee, were you picking on me? Never noticed. Must be my thick skin/head. ;D Nobody ever picks on me on this forum. :
I think it's sinking in...
I don't mind picking on you.
[/quote]
Gee, were you picking on me? Never noticed. Must be my thick skin/head. ;D Nobody ever picks on me on this forum. :
