Young men: build a solid foundation for life.
04-23-2008, 08:33 AM
#1
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Young men: build a solid foundation for life.
Here is what prompted this line of thought:
We have a girl at work, cute, skinny, smart, outgoing personality (she won’t shut up)
Every guy she meets, still lives with their parents, with their nephew, and by the third date, is discussing how much they would pay her in rent to live with her.
Her nice car is paid for; she has a high school diploma, some college, and a GOOD job. She’s buying her own house in a nice part of town.
She has a SOLID foundation in life. She has the basics covered, she is ready to move forward, and settle down and start investing toward her future.
Why would she bring in some drunk who can’t even afford his own apartment, to mooch off her?
I think the basics of a good foundation are: spiritual, mental, intelligent, well rounded, articulate, educated, soft-spoken, and financial
Spiritual:
Talk to your parent/grandparents, some older folks you trust. Ask them about the power of prayer. You can go here www.all-politics.net and talk more about it.
Mental & intelligent:
Study hard enough to know things and have some sort of intelligent discussion on something besides cars, trucks, and automotive issues of the day. Chicks are not impressed with weather & diesel price discussions. Blowing coal does impress any girl who wears camo, though.
Articulate:
Be able to speak in public. Be able to pray a good prayer if you are asked, without looking like a doofus. The first time you eat supper at a Girl’s house with her family, her daddy will most likely ask you to bless the meal, even if they don’t usually pray before chow. That is an easy way to take the measure of a man. Take your keys out of your pockets (coins too) when you get up in front of people to speak. One fellow who gave a sermon was so nervous; he jangled his keys louder than he spoke.
Educated:
Stay in school. We were in SONIC watching two guys repaint the stripes in the parking lot. One ole boy was bent over, breaking his back, touching up the stripes. The other ole boy had his arms folded across his chest and was pointing where to touch up.
Which one do you reckon was a high school dropout, and which one had his GED? You want to be able to support your family in some sort of comfort, and not scrape for every dollar your whole life, and you need at least a high school diploma to do that.
Soft spoken:
Have some “perspective” of the other person’s opinion. You are NOT ALWAYS RIGHT, esp when you deal with your wife. Here’s a good quote: “give a guy a CDL, a CB radio, and a Talk Radio station, and he’s an expert on ANY subject in 2 weeks”
Perspective is when you take time to realize what you are going to say is going to hurt someone’s feelings. You do NOT hurt your wife’s or kid’s feelings, they won’t get over that. your kids look up to you; you are the biggest guy in their life.
You are not always right. Here’s an example: I bought a LCD computer screen, and it looked like total pooh. I whined & complained that my computer was so old, that it did not have a DVI output. I was about ready to buy a new computer for $399, I was going to do this, going to do that. finally, a friend said he had free video card leftovers. He said to come by and he would put in the best one for me.
I get there, lay my computer box up on his desk, and DANGIT, there is a DVI connector on my video card. How could I have missed that? why did I not see it?
My point is I was worried about this for a long time, and was POSITIVE I knew what was going on in my own house, in my own life, but I did not, so how can I be positive about what’s going on outside my sphere of influence?
Let other folks have some room, and try to see from their perspective. Like when ‘blue haired traffic blockers’ are poking along in the fast lane. I was having a fit last week, but then the old codger ended up turning left to go somewhere on the other side of the road, so in fact, he made traffic easier by being in the lane he needed to be in, vice cutting across 3 lanes at the last minute.
Financial:
I will let Top & JWBM handle this one…
We have a girl at work, cute, skinny, smart, outgoing personality (she won’t shut up)
Every guy she meets, still lives with their parents, with their nephew, and by the third date, is discussing how much they would pay her in rent to live with her.
Her nice car is paid for; she has a high school diploma, some college, and a GOOD job. She’s buying her own house in a nice part of town.
She has a SOLID foundation in life. She has the basics covered, she is ready to move forward, and settle down and start investing toward her future.
Why would she bring in some drunk who can’t even afford his own apartment, to mooch off her?
I think the basics of a good foundation are: spiritual, mental, intelligent, well rounded, articulate, educated, soft-spoken, and financial
Spiritual:
Talk to your parent/grandparents, some older folks you trust. Ask them about the power of prayer. You can go here www.all-politics.net and talk more about it.
Mental & intelligent:
Study hard enough to know things and have some sort of intelligent discussion on something besides cars, trucks, and automotive issues of the day. Chicks are not impressed with weather & diesel price discussions. Blowing coal does impress any girl who wears camo, though.
Articulate:
Be able to speak in public. Be able to pray a good prayer if you are asked, without looking like a doofus. The first time you eat supper at a Girl’s house with her family, her daddy will most likely ask you to bless the meal, even if they don’t usually pray before chow. That is an easy way to take the measure of a man. Take your keys out of your pockets (coins too) when you get up in front of people to speak. One fellow who gave a sermon was so nervous; he jangled his keys louder than he spoke.
Educated:
Stay in school. We were in SONIC watching two guys repaint the stripes in the parking lot. One ole boy was bent over, breaking his back, touching up the stripes. The other ole boy had his arms folded across his chest and was pointing where to touch up.
Which one do you reckon was a high school dropout, and which one had his GED? You want to be able to support your family in some sort of comfort, and not scrape for every dollar your whole life, and you need at least a high school diploma to do that.
Soft spoken:
Have some “perspective” of the other person’s opinion. You are NOT ALWAYS RIGHT, esp when you deal with your wife. Here’s a good quote: “give a guy a CDL, a CB radio, and a Talk Radio station, and he’s an expert on ANY subject in 2 weeks”
Perspective is when you take time to realize what you are going to say is going to hurt someone’s feelings. You do NOT hurt your wife’s or kid’s feelings, they won’t get over that. your kids look up to you; you are the biggest guy in their life.
You are not always right. Here’s an example: I bought a LCD computer screen, and it looked like total pooh. I whined & complained that my computer was so old, that it did not have a DVI output. I was about ready to buy a new computer for $399, I was going to do this, going to do that. finally, a friend said he had free video card leftovers. He said to come by and he would put in the best one for me.
I get there, lay my computer box up on his desk, and DANGIT, there is a DVI connector on my video card. How could I have missed that? why did I not see it?
My point is I was worried about this for a long time, and was POSITIVE I knew what was going on in my own house, in my own life, but I did not, so how can I be positive about what’s going on outside my sphere of influence?
Let other folks have some room, and try to see from their perspective. Like when ‘blue haired traffic blockers’ are poking along in the fast lane. I was having a fit last week, but then the old codger ended up turning left to go somewhere on the other side of the road, so in fact, he made traffic easier by being in the lane he needed to be in, vice cutting across 3 lanes at the last minute.
Financial:
I will let Top & JWBM handle this one…
04-23-2008, 10:00 AM
#2
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Thread Starter
http://www.charleston.net/jail/
It's not so bad, he says, better than the low bunk beside the toilet, where errant urine splatters and soaks your pillow.
It's not so bad, he says, better than the low bunk beside the toilet, where errant urine splatters and soaks your pillow.
04-23-2008, 02:40 PM
#4
Registered User
Financial is easy: Write a spending plan and makes sure you have more coming in than going out. Stay away from credit cards, 90 days same as cash deals. Pay cash for everything and have enough socked away for a emergency. Have about 6 months of living expense money in the bank if you get laid off.
But a very good post!
But a very good post!
04-23-2008, 03:27 PM
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Financial is easy: Write a spending plan and makes sure you have more coming in than going out. Stay away from credit cards, 90 days same as cash deals. Pay cash for everything and have enough socked away for a emergency. Have about 6 months of living expense money in the bank if you get laid off.
But a very good post!
But a very good post!
Or another easy way to stay in the black. Get a job out of town where you stay in a camp. Money in each week, and you're in camp, so no money out other than auto withdrawls for bills.
04-23-2008, 05:25 PM
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problem is that people are entitled fix it by teaching gratitude and service.
I volunteer at church, boy scouts and do community counseling. I also work. Laziness can be a disease.
"The problem with being lazy is that you can't stop and take a break."
don't end up like this guy.
http://epmedia.ecollege.com/asxgen/m...Self_Smart.wmv
I volunteer at church, boy scouts and do community counseling. I also work. Laziness can be a disease.
"The problem with being lazy is that you can't stop and take a break."
don't end up like this guy.
http://epmedia.ecollege.com/asxgen/m...Self_Smart.wmv
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04-24-2008, 11:14 AM
#8
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The sad thing is there are many young men with the requisite fundamentals already in place to date her..............and she probably will not give them the time of day.
Other than that rant, great posts.
Other than that rant, great posts.
04-24-2008, 02:41 PM
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Man, you said a mouthful there didnt you? She'll end up with someone that treats her like **** most likely, like a lot of the good girls seem to end up doing...Anyways, thats life I guess..
04-24-2008, 05:35 PM
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maturity is a big gap 'tween young women and young men. society (media, computer) is zero help. everyone has a choice AND expectations- only ones that effectively communicate can keep it real. gotta live some life before you select what is right for you.
finances? save pocket change for fun stuff.
only one quarter of your budget is for housing costs.
one quarter of your weekly income goes to direct deposit money market account. gain of 200 bucks on a one thousand dollar investment in ten months. stick to your grocery budget per week.
have one credit card (almost have to nowadays -rent a car, etc.)
do not buy anything with it. be surprised at how much isn't covered in medical bills should you ever have an emergency. that's what it is for, and change cards to the promotional zero percent. have no loyalty.
check your credit report about twice a year (once is free), remove all the bank offers on it.
buy something small (100 bucks) to get your credit established and pay on it for the time period.
I have a three foot glass 'Knight' wine bottle from italy, that we incorporated into our bar top. it only takes dimes. took about ten years but it is almost full now (with one penny, stubborn bar person jusy HAD to shove it in there LOL)
we are buying a fancy HD tv unit for the wall with the savings. yup- little bits add up and it is a good discipline to hold off spending. worth the wait when you find that first house, etc...
most guys have low self esteem. better communication wipes out that feeling, honesty is best said during these occasions.
" hi, my name is george. I am a little nervous but it seems that you have a lot of fun when doing stuff. Would you allow me to call you this Friday night so we can share some laughs?" if this line gets you fellas somewhere- thank the DTR mom
Heidi
finances? save pocket change for fun stuff.
only one quarter of your budget is for housing costs.
one quarter of your weekly income goes to direct deposit money market account. gain of 200 bucks on a one thousand dollar investment in ten months. stick to your grocery budget per week.
have one credit card (almost have to nowadays -rent a car, etc.)
do not buy anything with it. be surprised at how much isn't covered in medical bills should you ever have an emergency. that's what it is for, and change cards to the promotional zero percent. have no loyalty.
check your credit report about twice a year (once is free), remove all the bank offers on it.
buy something small (100 bucks) to get your credit established and pay on it for the time period.
I have a three foot glass 'Knight' wine bottle from italy, that we incorporated into our bar top. it only takes dimes. took about ten years but it is almost full now (with one penny, stubborn bar person jusy HAD to shove it in there LOL)
we are buying a fancy HD tv unit for the wall with the savings. yup- little bits add up and it is a good discipline to hold off spending. worth the wait when you find that first house, etc...
most guys have low self esteem. better communication wipes out that feeling, honesty is best said during these occasions.
" hi, my name is george. I am a little nervous but it seems that you have a lot of fun when doing stuff. Would you allow me to call you this Friday night so we can share some laughs?" if this line gets you fellas somewhere- thank the DTR mom
Heidi
04-24-2008, 09:08 PM
#11
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Thread Starter
maturity is a big gap 'tween young women and young men. society (media, computer) is zero help. everyone has a choice AND expectations- only ones that effectively communicate can keep it real. gotta live some life before you select what is right for you.
- thank the DTR mom
Heidi
- thank the DTR mom
Heidi
and none of the guys her age (or even guys in their late 40's) have ANYTHING on the ball.
she says all they have is a fancy car with shiny rims, and that ain't even paid for.
yes, if you are NOT investing SOMETHING every paycheck, you are STUPID.
if you are Military, call USAA and do an investment counselor thing.
do NOT invest with the first investment counselor you talk to.
one company that works AF guys over has a 50% "load"
(here's a secret: LOAD means WE KEEP YOUR MONEY)
so that means this company keeps HALF the money you put in.
but they did a wonderful investment plan for me,
so i just went out & executed their plan with other companies
one other thing: nobody your age knows ANYTHING.
don't take advice from anyone your age.
go to church & take someone who is over 65 & retired out for lunch and ask them what their mistakes were.
you will be AMAZED what a problem money is when you DON'T make any.
it's a killer to be on a fixed income, with no way to increase your pay,
when gas triples & everything else is following suit
the chrome rims, nitrous & big stereo you had when you were 25, won't be so cool when are 65 and can't afford to go out for ice cream.
think if you invested the price of rims, stereo & nitrous now, how much would that be in 40 years? what if you invested it in Exxon stock?
just think about stuff, Ok?
04-25-2008, 01:12 AM
#12
Registered User
.................................
...
one other thing: nobody your age knows ANYTHING.
don't take advice from anyone your age.
go to church & take someone who is over 65 & retired out for lunch and ask them what their mistakes were.
you will be AMAZED what a problem money is when you DON'T make any.
it's a killer to be on a fixed income, with no way to increase your pay,
when gas triples & everything else is following suit
the chrome rims, nitrous & big stereo you had when you were 25, won't be so cool when are 65 and can't afford to go out for ice cream.
think if you invested the price of rims, stereo & nitrous now, how much would that be in 40 years? what if you invested it in Exxon stock?
just think about stuff, Ok?
...
one other thing: nobody your age knows ANYTHING.
don't take advice from anyone your age.
go to church & take someone who is over 65 & retired out for lunch and ask them what their mistakes were.
you will be AMAZED what a problem money is when you DON'T make any.
it's a killer to be on a fixed income, with no way to increase your pay,
when gas triples & everything else is following suit
the chrome rims, nitrous & big stereo you had when you were 25, won't be so cool when are 65 and can't afford to go out for ice cream.
think if you invested the price of rims, stereo & nitrous now, how much would that be in 40 years? what if you invested it in Exxon stock?
just think about stuff, Ok?
I think you hit the nail on the head about alot of stuff right there!! You have to be planning for tomorrow while you still live today.
..
04-25-2008, 09:03 AM
#13
Registered User
Seems like she has her priorities straight. My kinda girl. If only i could find one like her....or her. Lol
I totally agree with you. I'm not set for life just yet, but at 22yrs old I have my truck paid off, run my own landscaping business that truthfully makes me quite abit of money, have 4 all terrain vehicles, my own house and me and my sister own the ranch. it occured to me one day that I'm gonna be on my own, nobody will be there to get me out of any mess i get into, so I'd beter straighten up and start looking ahead. the way the world is, the younger high schoolers start thinking they're living to party, then you see them down the road all tore up and aged with a ragged piece of metal for a car, a trailer house made in the 60s, and 10 dogs, but they're living the life they say.... peoples opinions are what makes them when they're not thinking enough.
i don't wanna be someone dreading the bills everyday cause I couldn't pay em.
I totally agree with you. I'm not set for life just yet, but at 22yrs old I have my truck paid off, run my own landscaping business that truthfully makes me quite abit of money, have 4 all terrain vehicles, my own house and me and my sister own the ranch. it occured to me one day that I'm gonna be on my own, nobody will be there to get me out of any mess i get into, so I'd beter straighten up and start looking ahead. the way the world is, the younger high schoolers start thinking they're living to party, then you see them down the road all tore up and aged with a ragged piece of metal for a car, a trailer house made in the 60s, and 10 dogs, but they're living the life they say.... peoples opinions are what makes them when they're not thinking enough.
i don't wanna be someone dreading the bills everyday cause I couldn't pay em.
04-25-2008, 01:41 PM
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"All men are jerks" is the tired old phrase thats been used for years. And a most-always appropriate reponse to that is "No we arent, only the ones youve chosen to be associated with."
Do ya see where im going with that? "every guy shes been with has.........."
Sooooo, maybe what it really boils down to is she repeatedly (and women do this) choosing the same sort of man and expecting some sort of a magical different outcome. I will be the first to declare that the vast majority of "Men" in todays society are not men at all. The state of the average male is deplorable. Me and the girlfriend were out shopping yesterday just having a good time and we hear a woman call for her husband. He answers with this weak and needy " Im comming deeeeear!" and all but sprints across the aisle to where she is. Me and my girl just looked at eachother and our jaws dropped.
And of course, I could show you immature 25, 30, 40, 50 year old little boys who still throw temper tantrums if their wife/girlfriend says that they cant afford a new "toy" (a 5th car, a huge boat, a 75" plasma tv). Trust me, ill agree that the men of today dont have alot to offer a REAL woman..and vise versa, not alot of women have much to offer a REAL man aside from a shopping list of "things" they must have to keep up with the rest of society.
I could go on all day about this very subject. In the end I dont think either sex is doing any worse than the other. I know guys who still live at home...I know girls who still live at home (yet for girls thats not looked down upon). There are good men out there still, just like their are good women. Im not sure where shes is meeting all these guys (yet im forced to believe its not somewhere very good for landing quality mates, bars, clubs, etc). How "established" did she walk away from the divorce (just wondering...). A very wise man once told me that "If you find yourself in the same relationship with the same (negative) results, then you must stop to consider the fact that the issue is not with other people, but with yourself." If she goes chasing after big cars with shiney wheels, big houses, big this, big that, flash flashy...and that usually ends up in disaster, then tell me WHY she continues to chase after the same kind of men?
The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.
While I dont doubt the lack of good mates in todays society (as I perceive), I doubt more her ability to seek out or attract a good man, and she has shown an unwillingness to change her way of thinking. If you do not deserve what you want, youll fall short every time.
Do ya see where im going with that? "every guy shes been with has.........."
Sooooo, maybe what it really boils down to is she repeatedly (and women do this) choosing the same sort of man and expecting some sort of a magical different outcome. I will be the first to declare that the vast majority of "Men" in todays society are not men at all. The state of the average male is deplorable. Me and the girlfriend were out shopping yesterday just having a good time and we hear a woman call for her husband. He answers with this weak and needy " Im comming deeeeear!" and all but sprints across the aisle to where she is. Me and my girl just looked at eachother and our jaws dropped.
And of course, I could show you immature 25, 30, 40, 50 year old little boys who still throw temper tantrums if their wife/girlfriend says that they cant afford a new "toy" (a 5th car, a huge boat, a 75" plasma tv). Trust me, ill agree that the men of today dont have alot to offer a REAL woman..and vise versa, not alot of women have much to offer a REAL man aside from a shopping list of "things" they must have to keep up with the rest of society.
I could go on all day about this very subject. In the end I dont think either sex is doing any worse than the other. I know guys who still live at home...I know girls who still live at home (yet for girls thats not looked down upon). There are good men out there still, just like their are good women. Im not sure where shes is meeting all these guys (yet im forced to believe its not somewhere very good for landing quality mates, bars, clubs, etc). How "established" did she walk away from the divorce (just wondering...). A very wise man once told me that "If you find yourself in the same relationship with the same (negative) results, then you must stop to consider the fact that the issue is not with other people, but with yourself." If she goes chasing after big cars with shiney wheels, big houses, big this, big that, flash flashy...and that usually ends up in disaster, then tell me WHY she continues to chase after the same kind of men?
The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.
While I dont doubt the lack of good mates in todays society (as I perceive), I doubt more her ability to seek out or attract a good man, and she has shown an unwillingness to change her way of thinking. If you do not deserve what you want, youll fall short every time.