Badfish740

So after showing up at 4:30 a.m. to plow the parking lot, clear sidewalks, etc...at work my boss (the owner of the ice rink) asks me when I'm leaving. I tell him that I'm scheduled til 12:30, that everything is pretty well taken care of, and that someone should spread ice melter on the sidewalks at night once it gets cold again. Then he asks if I can stay a little later because he needs a favor. "What's that" I ask? As it turns out he was out driving his BRAND NEW Maserati Quattroporte (yes this guy is filthy stinking rich) last night and the roads got progressively worse and worse. He was two miles from home (Mahwah, up in Passaic County near the New York border) when he decided it was just too risky and he pulled into a random driveway. Said driveway literally dropped 30 feet at about what seemed like a 60 degree angle from the road to the house. Needless to say the driveway was completely covered with ice and the car didn't exactly have all weather radials on it.

So, he asks, "Can you get me out?" Of course the seasoned 4 wheeler in me couldn't pass up the challenge, and I found it amusing and somewhat satisfying to be in such a position of dare I say "power" over my rich and at times clueless boss. So I grab a tow strap (we had one in case one of the Zambonis ever broke down and needed to be moved), two steel shackles, and we're off. Luckily our (well-his) plow truck,sorry guys-2004 Furd F-250, and a gasser no less, (told them to buy a Cummins-they wouldn't listen) has a 2" receiver hitch on the back for the salter.

We get there and it is a site to behold. My boss gets in the car, warms it up, scrapes it off, and attemps to move it. The Pirelli P-Zeros can't even make it 6" forward before they start to spin. At one point the car was in gear and simply idling, and I sat there watching the wheel spin so slowly that I could follow one of the spokes with my eye. It was as if the tires were made of teflon. So of course, desperation sets in and the old "hit-the-gas-and-get-the-speedo-up-to-120-mph-while-you're-standing-still" mentality takes hold. I can taste the tire smoke-the very expensive tire smoke. The more he guns the gas, the more it slides sideways off to the edge of the driveway-where there is a ditch. I explain to him that this is not a good idea and I should hook the car up to the truck and we can be out in no time. "Pull it with the truck? I thought you could just push while I gave it a little gas!" After envisioning myself being squashed under an exotic Italian sportscar sliding backwards down an icy hill, I politely said "That ain't happening." So I spend the next 20minutes or so explaining that it won't damage the car, I won't crash into it, I HAVE done this before (albeit in mud with a beat up old Land Cruiser), and I know what I'm doing. For added emphasis I remind him that I am known as "Matt the redneck" around the rink for a reason.

Finally, after another 20 minutes of trying to find the tow hook (turns out the car comes with a threaded eye bolt that you screw into the frame rail just under the grill-pretty trick) I put the truck in 4WD low and gingerly inch forward. Lo and behold the Furd climbed the icy slope with ease-I didn't even detect any wheelspin. I was surprised to say the least.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, you really shouldn't drive a Maserati in the snow.

Patrick Campbell

Which is rink does he own??

Fronty Owner

why drive a Maserati to begin wtih?

G1625S

same reason some folks with big bucks do a lot of things: because they can.


edit---I'd like a sticker on my back window, close to the stack saying: because I can

FiverBob

Drive one and you never ask that question again. It is a thrill like no other unless it happens to be named Lamborgini. Of course, then there is driving the RAM.

Fronty Owner

I once owned a car.
I will never again own anything I cant run over a curb with and not think twice about it.

BigBlue

Why not? They probably ask the same question about why do we drive big noisy trucks. I love driving sports cars. Quick, agile, nimble, fast, good lookin. Ahhhh. Dang it. Now I miss the vette. Time to go home and get my fix.

Lrdchaos

Because they run 185......

Forrest Nearing

but you lose your license, and then you can't drive

Lrdchaos

FiverBob

Who can catch you???

PistolWhipt

..... Mr. Motorola

PISTOL

BigBlue

So you get a limo and ride in the back

Boz007

And lock the doors in case im attacked.

c172driver

Sounds like this be be the beginning of a catchy tune