Bark

They have internet in Seattle. Who knew? Borrowing my Daughters tablet thing to type this on. I don't like it.
Hey people, thanks for the congrats and stuff a couple of days ago. Its a girl. 11lbs 1oz. Nope, not a typo.
They were expecting a big kid (around 9lbs) because of the Moms diabetes (its normal) but they weren't planning on a whale.
My daughter is so glad it was a C-section.
We have been babysitting their other kid. Two years old and he didn't know how to spit or shoot a rubber band properly.
Glad I am here to teach him.
She may be able to come home tomorrow afternoon. Baby seat is in my rental car but now they are saying it might snow. Thought I left that crud behind.
Oh well, bed time. Going to be a long day tomorrow.

Lary Ellis (Top)

Congratulations Grandpa Bark! on the healthy bouncing baby Girl

Prayers and best wishes for the Mother and child hoping she gets well in a hurry

Dont forget that boy needs to know how to throw rocks as well...rubber band shooting is right up there in importance but every little boy needs to be proficient in rock throwing

chaikwa

Good. Now get yourself a Facebook account so we can make fun of you in more than one place!

Good Lord, that's not a kid, that's a turkey! Congrats Grampa!



Morning all.

It is Thursday, December 19th.

1777 - General George Washington led his army of about 11,000 men to Valley Forge, PA, to camp for the winter.

1842 - Hawaii's independence was recognized by the U.S.

1843 - Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first published in England.

1871 - Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones.

1907 - A coalmine explosion in Jacobs Creek, PA, killed 239 workers.

1959 - Walter Williams died in Houston, TX, at the age of 117. He was said to be the last surviving veteran of the U.S. Civil War.

1973 - Johnny Carson started a fake toilet-paper scare on the "Tonight Show."

1989 - U.S. troops invaded Panama to overthrow the regime of General Noriega.

1996 - The school board of Oakland, CA, voted to recognize Black English, also known as "ebonics." The board later reversed its stance.

1998 - U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two charges of perjury and obstruction of justice by the U.S. House of Representatives.

1998 - A four-day bombing of Iraq by British and American forces ended.

2000 - The U.N. Security Council voted to impose sanctions on Afghanistan's Taliban rulers unless they closed all terrorist training camps and surrender U.S. embassy bombing suspect Osama bin Laden.

2008 - U.S. President George W. Bush signed a $17.4 billion rescue package of loans for ailing auto makers General Motors and Chrysler.


Today's thought:
If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.

C0ffee & ph00 are ready.

TOB&F please!

twichit

morning coffee taken off to day labor then back again later

FiverBob

Hey buddy, congrats. Ain't it fun. 11 pounds - - yep, a baby whale. I thought I was bad at 9#14oz. Bet she was huge. Snow in Seattle. My wife will love that - - - yuk. She will be glad to get out of that on Sunday. She said it had been cold. Guess that is typical Seattle for the winter.

Hey, ph00 is done and smells good - - YEH ....................

OK, off to win some more battles.

Bob

Scotty

Congrats to Barkpa.
Another thing the boy needs to learn is sling shotting.
Maybe practice with shrews.

11lbs? Your gonna have to alter that shrewfit you made.



Hanyday

Tallguy67

DIARY OF A DEMENTED SNOW SHOVELER

December 8

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world than Dalemead, Alberta? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbour Neil tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Neil says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Neil is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbour.

December 14

Snow, lovely snow - eight inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Dodge Ram. I also bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We are in Alberta, not Alaska, after all.

December 16

Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17

Itʼs still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. There was nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20

Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the stuff last night. More shovelling! It took all day. The snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Neil says I have to shovel or the county will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22

Neil was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August 20. Tried to hire Peter who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think Peterʼs lying.

December 23

Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24

Six inches - snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.

December 25

Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight - snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26

Still snowed in. Why did I ever take this job in Calgary and move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27

Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28

Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The wife is driving me crazy!!!

December 29

Ten more inches. Neil says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30

Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31

I set fire to whatʼs left of the house. No more shovelling.

January 8

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

ENJOY YOUR WINTER AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

PS – I cannot take full credit for this, a version was sent to me and I plagiarized it unblushingly.

FiverBob

Sean - - that is a good one. .....................
I drink to that ......................................................ahhh, ph00.

Now, go take another pill and listen to your wife - - if she will talk to you...............

Shorts

Abuelo Bark, congrats. Enjoy Seattle.

Tallguy, good stuff. Stay warm up there.

Justwannabeme

Hey Shorts! hope all is well in navy land (or is it air force land now there?)

very nice out, easy on the bod too. put new front brakes and rotor on the 08 jeep. dealer bought me breakfast and gave me new booklet on ram trucks. what are they using for a ECODIESEL? diesels already were economical....

Barkbrother! Congrats and yikes! growing them hearty in Seattle when someone was sleepless.....snicker so much fun to corrupt the wee ones when mom and dad get a break....put the rubber band on the sink sprayer or make "snow" from hole puncher cut outs put on ceiling fans. unsuspecting turn on the fan and voila! inside snow!!! yayyyyy!

then run. safe travels... was that a car seat or should the receiver hitch be utilized? balance out things...11 pounds WOULD have been a 20 cm kid. OMG!!! natural birth would have needed turbo....

sherod

An awesome day! While driving back home from buying Santa stuff, something caught my eye. Sitting on a sale lot was a 89 D350 that I had to sell back in 2007. A little worn from sitting outside all these years with no TLC, but there she was. I had inherited it when Dad died. Probably paid more for it than I should, but did it anyway. 33k miles, 360 engine, dump bed. Brakes are shot so limped it home. Bed lights don't work, and one speaker doesn't work. Still has the gun rack in the back window that by Better Half bought for it. Needs a couple hood dents fixed and new cab paint. Odd thing is, it has about 1500 more miles on it now than when I sold it. Plus has new Brake Controller in it. It still had my old insurance card and the original bill of sale when Dad bought it. I'm smiling!!

NE frmhnd

Bed time. Yeah, it's only 8:30. Bite me.

Totallyrad

Eh....

WoW! Congrats buddy!

Cool!

Bark

Thanks again to all you fine folks. Really!
Was at the hospital all day and at the last minute they said Mother and Daughter could come home.
The new one is screaming in Grandmas ear for some chow while my Daughter pays some attention to the older kid
(trying to keep from making him feel abandoned for the new kid).

The kid can puke on me, gnaw on me or yank on my mustache until I cry
but I still have avoided changing a diaper in the last 33 years and am striving to keep my record.

Sorry but like Heidi said...its just not right.

You are right. I'm going to have to take him too the beach to gather some rocks to bring home since where they live there aren't any.
Grass and cement but no rocks. Unbelievable.

It didn't snow. Now they are saying maybe tomorrow. You would think they would be better at guessing than they are.

Daughter is going to fix me up when she recoups from getting gutted.

I have been thinking though.
Facebook sounds pretty neat but if I was going to start some social media thing I would want it to be have a distinctive look to it.
A different perspective.
A different outlook.
I would call it Butt Book and it would have a different slant or angle than Facebook.
Its just a thought.

Anyway, thanks again to everybody for the kind thoughts.
Wish I had time to harass you guys a little more.
Hopefully things will calm down around here in a few days.

chaikwa

He has a fetish for 'Short's brownies' is ok. He has a fetish for 'shorts brownies' is NOT ok. This is why grammar is SO important!

Tell her to get on it! She just had a kid, it's not like she had a major operation or something.

Dogs would love it!



Morning all.

It is Friday, December 20th.

1606 - The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the start of the first permanent English settlement in America.

1790 - The first successful cotton mill in the United States began operating at Pawtucket, RI.

1803 - The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included the Louisiana Territories from France for $15 million. The transfer was completed with formal ceremonies in New Orleans.

1820 - The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. The tax was $1 a year.

1860 - South Carolina became the first state to secede from the American Union.

1864 - Confederate forces evacuated Savannah, GA as Union Gen. William T. Sherman continued his "March to the Sea."

1879 - Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent light at Menlo Park, NJ.

1880 - New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" when it was lighted by electricity.

1892 - Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the pneumatic tire.

1928 - Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME.

1946 - In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare between Vietnam partisans and French troops began.

1954 - Buick Motor Company signed Jackie Gleason to one of the largest contracts ever entered into with an entertainer. Gleason agreed to produce 78 half-hour shows over a two-year period for $6,142,500.

1963 - The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to West Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It closed again on January 6, 1964.

1989 - General Noriega, Panama's former dictator, was overthrown by a United States invasion force invited by the new civilian government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause.

2001 - The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan.

2001 - The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan to help the nation heal after decades of war.


Today's thought:
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.


C0ffee & ph00 are ready.

TOB&F please!