a young teen girl was talking about suicide last night,
sent another girl a email about it, and they got her help.

all the kids in my Youth Group class AMAZE me with tales of how kids have drugs and beer at school. two guys were sharing a beer in the bathroom at school last week.

lots of kids are smoking cigarettes.

most of the stuff happened with our kids in Middle school, and the High school kids in the class said it was even worse at High school.

talk to your kids. spending time with your kids, shows them they are IMPORTANT to you, and that is important to them.

kids are like puppies, they need love and attention.

you do NOT raise intelligent human beings by putting them in the bedroom with a cell phone, internet and Cable TV.

kids raised by Nintendo games have horrible social skills

 

I have a 15 mile drive home after school with my kid. Lots of time to talk everyday about school. And she's only in 1st grade. I figure I'll get her in the habbit of talking to me now and it will keep happening all through her life.

 

Good plan!

Lots of children out there don't like talking to their parents about school, their life, etc because they have never been raised with it.

 

my soon to be 13 year old daughter is withdrawing from me It does not help that her mom and I are divorced. My son is still dads little buddy. I am working on my daughter. Her birthday is valentines day and I bought her a diamond ring to promise to her that I will always be there for her. It is also going to be a purity ring for her to promise me that she will remain a virgin and stay away from drugs and alcohol.

 

If I am still living where I am now when I have kids, I know exactly the school they are going to. It is a K-12 Christian school that was started by my church, has a former pastor as the principal, and my church Pastor as the administrator.

Also my dad is on the school board (the church deacon and trustees).

It is great, we started last year with 4 students and now have over 30 students and 4 missionary students in Korea.

 

If your too busy for them , you'll loose them , I see it everyday picking my son up from middle school. I'm like a father to some of my son's friends, they come running over to my truck to talk about fishing,quads,and playing guitars , I feel sorry for them with no father around. One actually comes over to our house and teaches my son and I how to play a guitar better,I guess guitar lessons have been his after school care for about 6 yrs. now, but boy can he play anything.

 

Gentlemen and Ladies(I can't dare forget mom's!),

To give my background very briefly, I work as a Youth Bureau Detective in a medium sized police department in a city of approx 70-75 thousand people. The city is very ethnically diverse, with a very "urban" lifestye and very low income. I grew up in this city and shockingly I still love this City.
The fact that any of you are posting tells me that I would most likely never have to work with you or any of your children, short of something petty that would end up being a life long learning experience for all involved.
My time generally consists of investigating sexual abuse/assaults against children ranging in ages from months through 15 years old, with the suspects running in age from 8 years old through 80+ years old.
I also investigate child abuse/neglect, crimes committed by kids ages 15 and under (assaults, larceny, drugs, robbery, burglary, prositution, and pretty much all crimes inclusive of murder/manslaughter.
I have the unfortunate position to interview all of the above children AND their parents/guardian's/care takers aka, adult figure in their lives. None of the stories are good, none are glamorous none are ones I could ever possibly consider repeating or even paraphrasing in any public forum.
Having only been in this position for a very short period of time I have quickly noted(which I had already observed as a patrolman) that most children who commit crimes or are victims of crimes come from homes where the parents were either victims themselves as children, are too young in that they never had a childhood of their own and therefor don't have the skills necessary to provide for the proper growth of their child. And there are the few unfortunate families that sruggle to survive and becuase the parent(s) work so hard to provide for their children, they are not there to help them grow. I have also observed that the vast differences in cultures in this country make it difficult for some to understand what the correct social norms are. The pressures of the media, friends, classmates and society in general also play an immeasurable role in the development of what children preceive.
Confused? Lost? Thinking.... this guy is rambling on and on, going in 200 different directions?
Thats my point. Until we can truly have a way to understand fully the childs mind and their development, as parents the best thing you can do is interact, communicate and LISTEN! because kids are a confusing group that change faster than we can keep up. But doing those three things would surely make for a measureable improvement in todays children in my most modest opinion....

Mike

 

^^^ Well said Mike!!!!

 

i have to agree with Mike! im 18 just finished up high school. i saw a lot of it! my parents have been around my whole life. i appreciate everything they do for me too. my dad works a lot and my mom stays at home. (used too till the economy got worse). i just remember my freshman year i wasnt making some good choices, they punished me but after that year i straitened up and eventually moved on. my dad has always been there asking the usaul questions "how was school?" "got any homework" then i got a job " how was work" just simple talk every day. sure it gets annoying sometimes but at least he's always been there and showed he cares.

i think it makes a huge difference in a childs life depending on how the parents are towards their kids. it really sucks having to grow up and watch some of your friends become some of the bad kids there are today, but all you can do is be a good friend back and hope for the best.

 

I am going to go a bit further than what was already posted. Return the ring, your daughter needs you not an item to remind her of you. Since you are divorced you have NO control over what happens when you daughter is with her mom. Since I have no knowledge of the circumstances of you relationship with you x, or the conditions of you divorce I will keep it general.

Daughters almost always side with mom. Sons almost always side with dad. if you really want to be a great father to your daughter,(and son), then NO MATTER what your ex says to them when they are with her, you SHOW them how much they mean to you by NOT saying anything about your ex, NO matter what she may be saying about you. Your actions and behavior around them will tell them the truth of you intentions. It will not be easy, however your children will Love you for it. Remember, they did not ask to be put in this situation. Keep it civil, even if it hurts. That's what MEN do!


I wish you the best,


Tim

 

Tim

My ex and I actually get a long very well. her new hubby don't understand why we do but we have not faught in 9 years (since the divorce). The ring does have more meaning than what I wrote and I iam positive that my lil chick will love it. I live 30 miles from the kids and i get them all the time. the last few weeks, my daughter has started coming over more whick is killer and we have been haning out. there are weekends that she is the only one that comes over so we can hang just the 2 of us. I understand what you are sayin though.

 

Thats a good deal. Makes life a lot easier when split parents can get along.

I am sure she will cherish the ring.






Tim

 

ya she will be stoked. her bday is on valentines day. I am thinking when she starts dating (dad is scared of that day) her boyfriends will be SCREWED! bday and valentines day presents! poor dudes

 

advice from Mom (and handling divorce and custody issues for 12 years professionally)

super that everyone here thinks that way- not my business, just an observation:

this is a whole new person. treat with respect; control left at age eight LOL
just setting the time to listen! thank you Mike^ is worth the whole busload of little problems that affect the pressure choices she will make.
reinforce that- 'hey, anytime you are at a situation when you think it is time to leave, I will pick you up and be there IF you want to talk.' life moves too fast. let them know it is okay to stop and control the situation, ask questions.

you can only control what YOU do, yada yada. my caution on the viginity thing and expecting 'boyfriends' to buy a lot of gifts.....expectation is that she WILL talk to ya, YOU have to stay non judgemental, ask honey- is this choice right for who you want to be? girls secretly want their dads to be proud of them, not rescue them.....hugs are always fair game LOL

God Bless you fathers, truly the hardest part of parenting! letting go of their hand when they have you wrapped around their little finger....

 

cbrahs, just thinking of that country song ' see ya when you get home, I'll be up all night- cleaning this gunnn" hehehe

thank you for your service too (hangin head humbly smilie)