t-15 firefighter

Well guys, I’m in need of a little parenting advice.

My daughter…



since she was a month and a half old, has almost always slept through the night without so much as a peep. But within the last few weeks it has been a nightmare getting her to go to sleep and then stay asleep. I realize that this is a common problem but since we haven’t really had to deal with it I was looking for advice or tips that have worked for some of you.

I figure she is going through a stage right now but she has changed so much in the last couple of weeks that it has taken us by surprise. There have been no outside changes in her life and everything around the house has stayed the same.
During the day she wants to be held all of the time. If we try to put her down she starts to cry and won’t quit until we pick her up again.
Now here is the way that I (we’ve) been handling this new dilemma. When she starts to cry because we aren’t holding her (especially after we have been holding her) I try to divert her attention to something else (toy etc.). If that doesn’t work then I don’t pick her up but I get down on her level and let her come to me and I hug her and talk to her during which time she is usually trying to climb up on me so I will hold her. After that I pretty much just let her cry it out. This last approach makes me feel like a horrible parent but I know that if we cave into her every time she wants her way she will be unbearable to live with. The same thing pretty much goes with putting her down to sleep. We have always had a bedtime routine. Give her a bath, read a book, and sing her a song or two. But now after we put her down, she usually starts crying (or screaming). After about five minutes of this I or my wife will walk in and without picking her up, rub her back or hair and try to console her. If that doesn’t work (which it rarely does) then we just let her cry herself to sleep. Usually after about ten minutes. This also makes me feel terrible but I don’t see any other way to handle this situation. Lucky for me I have all the patience in the world with her.

Don’t get me wrong, she isn’t always crying or upset. She is a very happy little girl but she has started a new stage right now and it has taken us by surprise with the changes that have taken place. And I know there will be more to come.

Any advice?

Britt

Hoss

I haven't read your post yet but I'm reserving this spot so I can be the first to respond.

Now...after reading your post...keep doing what you're doing. Right now she is learning SO much...and if you start to give in to her every little whimper then she'll pick up on that. Our oldest son (now three....man, time flies) went through a similar stage where he didn't want to go to bed. He got to where he HATED going to bed. He'd fight it all the way to bed and then he wouldn't stay in his bed. We tried consoling him for a while, but eventually it got to the point where we would just put him in his room and calmly tell him that if he got out of bed he was getting spanked...and we followed through if he did. He would cry for a little while (sometimes a long while) and come up with every excuse in the book to get out of bed (too dark, too light, he's thirsty, he has to go to the bathroom, his pillow fell off the bed, there's a monster in the closet, he heard something, he saw something, something smells funny...you name it and he thought of it), but eventually he'd fall asleep and once again look like that little angel that he is.

It's just a stage and she'll grow out of it. In the meantime you just have to continue to be patient with her without giving in. Our boy goes to bed real easy now. In fact, if he's real tired, he'll even tell us he WANTS to go to bed.

I know that doesn't help much, but in my opinion you're doing just what you should be doing.

Ahhh...one last thing you might try that works well for us...every night when you tuck her in read her a short Bible story and help her say her prayers.

PistolWhipt

You are doing fine, Britt ... sounds like you have the natural instincts of great parents !! I remember feeling like a horrible dad letting the kids cry it out but as long as she learns to console herself and eventually fall asleep, she will be fine.

As long as they have a full belly, clean, dry diapers and aren't hurt ... let em squall. Gets lots of quality O2 to their brain .

It can be hard to resist ... especially as cute as she is !! Ah heck ... just send her over here ... I'll spoil her for ya .

PISTOL

Chrisreyn

Britt, infants/toddlers go through different stages of awareness and learning.
As infants, they are aware of 'parents" but it isnt a conciuos(sp?) knowledge. As she turns into a toddler and her awareness of her surroundings becomes more acute, she will realize what 'parents" are in a tangible " I know you" sense. She has become aware that you can leave.....
Even if she wasnt afraid to be seperated from you before, she will be now that she is "aware" of you as a individual enitity. Her cryign and screaming is a form of seperation anxiety, and it will subside as she learns that your being out of sight doesnt mean your gone forever.

It sounds like your handleing it well.. keep doing what your doing and she will learn.......
best of luck Bud.. its hard to listen to them cry and not come running!...

JD Dearden

Ya my little girl goes through these stages all the time, I say if she starts crying when its bed time just let her cry herself to sleep, My girl startes doin that and she quit once she realized it wasen't going to work and one time she cried and screamed for an hour and a half. I know that it is tuff but I think that they respect dicipline.

JD

t-15 firefighter

That is kind of what we thought. As long as she is full, clean, and not hurting then she will be okay.

I MIGHT just take you up on that



Now that sounds about right. That's exactly what she's acting like.

Thanks for everyone's advice!

Britt

IA_James

With my girls I'd give 'em about 10 minutes of crying, then go in, get 'em calmed back down. Lay them back down, let 'em scream for another 10 minutes, repeat. After a while they figure out 2 things.

1. They're not getting back up.

2. You do still love them, and are still there.

Had pretty good luck it so far.

mcoleman

I did both of my boys the way Hoss mentioned and it worked great. Course I know where my parents got their gray hair from now also.

rdc

Mine is doing that right now also. We have found that if you discourage the daytime nap they will usually sleep ALOT better at night. But, as you well know, all kids are different.

Lary Ellis (Top)

Two words.... Duct Tape

Don't change a thing Britt, you are on the money in my opinion and doing a TERRIFIC job as father...Kudos!

t-15 firefighter

Duct Tape has been mentioned a couple times

Thanks for the reply. Still feeling my way through this thing called parenting. But, I guess we all do that.

Britt

Mcmopar

How old is she? My boy grew teeth very young, and that caused some sleep issues.

Hoss

Ahhh...good point. The whole teething thing caused problems for us as well.

linetrash75

You do as I did, Find a job that takes you away from home 5 nights aweek and let momma deal with her crying.
Ok now that I sound like an edit, I am by no means a parenting expert, but what your doing sounds about right. tething does sound like it might be the culprit, don't know it never really bothered my kids too much. Just do the best a person can doand it will pay off in the end.

P.S. I had the traveling job before I had the Kids, And am proud to say I now Am home every night and get to really be a Dad, Boy I need a vacation.

Jed

BC847

Get a loud vacuum cleaner.

When she goes to playing you, get to vacuuming.

She'll eventually get tired of crying, and realize you're on to her. You'll end up with clean floors and won't have to endure the sometimes traumatic fits.