My Last Trip To Walmart
08-23-2013, 06:49 PM
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My Last Trip To Walmart
Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Fred, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Walmart won't let me shop there anymore!
What did she think I had an elephant?
On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Walmart won't let me shop there anymore!
08-23-2013, 06:56 PM
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That was funny..
You really don't feed your dog that crap, do you ? I'd have no problem with you eating it, but your dog ?
Your dog is supposed to live on a diet of Macadamia nuts, Raisins, powdered chocolate, onions, antifreeze, and artificially flavored gum like orbit. One or two meals, and you don't need to feed them anymore...
http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtua...hazardous-dogs
You really don't feed your dog that crap, do you ? I'd have no problem with you eating it, but your dog ?
Your dog is supposed to live on a diet of Macadamia nuts, Raisins, powdered chocolate, onions, antifreeze, and artificially flavored gum like orbit. One or two meals, and you don't need to feed them anymore...
http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtua...hazardous-dogs
08-24-2013, 10:03 AM
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08-24-2013, 11:44 AM
#7
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Nice job cleaning it up for the site!!
When I first heard that one it was getting hit by a truck while doing what male dogs do best in the middle of the street!!
When I first heard that one it was getting hit by a truck while doing what male dogs do best in the middle of the street!!
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