Makin' Hay - The Cowboy Way
08-19-2004, 03:44 PM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Drive till ya hit a Polar Bear, then go back 50 miles
Posts: 1,062
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Makin' Hay - The Cowboy Way
I had no idea we had as many folks on the DTR as we do who spend many hours going round and round making short alfalfa out of tall stuff.
A few years back, I co-authored a book of short stories (Dateline Dinky Creek) with a gent from California, and I found one of the stories I wrote may have some relevance to y'all:
Makin' Hay - The Cowboy Way
There are four seasons in any given year.
This is a fact. Or so most people believe this to be a fact.
We here at The Cowboy Way know this statement to be false. Or at least it is from our side of the fence. Up here, on the Northern Range, we have three seasons:
Makin' hay, haulin' hay, and feedin' hay.
Rolling into a hay field with what amounts to an 18 foot wide lawn mower that cuts at 12 mph has a certain manly appeal. And the actual baling process is about the only job you can do where weaving all over the place won't see you locked up over night, trying to scrape together enough nickels for bail money. So makin' hay can be a downright pleasurable experience.
And we even know some folks for which this holds true. You know the types. Sparkling new high capacity hay balers that crack out 2200 lb, perfectly tied and shaped bales. Brand new haybines with air-conditioned cabs. Spiffy tractors with air-ride seats and a shower in the back. For these guys, hayin' is a great way to spend a couple months of the year.
Since our operation up here is slightly lower budget than many, we've had to cut a couple corners to make ends meet:
Sparkling hay balers? The only sparkle you'll find on our balers is the sparkle of fresh hydraulic fluid leaking from another worn fitting.
Perfectly tied bales? On one side anyway. Maybe. Doesn't matter. When the critters find that hole in the fence we've been meaning to patch, all the twine at the Co-op won't hold a bale together.
Air conditioned cabs? We'd be happy to have a cab. Any cab. One from a Gremlin even.
Air ride seats? This we have. Although some have told us that an old tire tube inflated to 32 PSI, and stuck under our butts doesn't count.
But, with a proper attitude, makin' hay can still be a pleasurable
experience, even for us financially-challenged cowboy types. Or at least thats what we tell ourselves as we roll into the first field of the new season.
Unfortunately, Old Man Murphy, his law, and reality usually beat that little bit of optimism clean out of our bodies within the first five or ten minutes. And the rest of season is spent Makin' Hay - The Cowboy Way:
Day 1 - Preventative maintenance day. Grease. Oil. Skinned knuckles. Banged heads. Jacks that slip. Slip joints that don't.
We're not gonna talk about this anymore. Its just not pleasant.
Day 2 - First day of cutting. The birds are chirping. The sun is shining. You've managed to beg 12 days off from your day job. God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.
First couple of rounds, things are going pretty smooth. A few bugs that need to be squashed. Canvasses that need straightening. A couple knife teeth that just ain't gonna cut it. Back to the yard to make the necessary corrections.
Hmmmmm. Starting to cloud up a bit.
Finish making corrections, just as the first rain drops hit. Day 2 normally ends with a mad dash to the house, where its dry.
Day 3 - The rains cometh. Might just as well make some money, instead of staring out the window at the squall. Back to the day job.
Day 4-14 - Arc Building - The Cowboy Way. The haybine is sitting in a foot of water. The baler floated away sometime last night, taking your best cow dog and two 3/4" wrenches with it.
Day 15-17 - Whats that we see? The sun? By the end of the 17th day, its time to make an attempt at getting the haybine out to the back quarter. By some miracle, we make it, but just barely.
Too bad the shop truck driver wasn't smart enough to see the mud flying off the tires BEFORE they tried to follow the haybine into that low spot. The rest of day 17 will be spent walking back to the yard, and pulling the dually out of the lake.
Hmmmmm. The rains sure brought the mosquitoes on.
Day 18 - First real day of cutting. 3 broken canvasses. 6 plug-ups. Per round. 20 acres total knocked down. At this rate, we should be done next year sometime.
Feeling a little tired. Mosquitoes probably drained 6 gallons of blood today.
Day 19 - First smooth day of cutting. Only 2 plug-ups and a gallon and a half gallon of blood lost.
Day 20, 21 - High gear cutting. By the end of day 21, cutting is all
wrapped up. Only ran out of gas once. Too bad the shop truck was making a food run. Oh well. Walking is good for the soul.
Besides, we couldn't have the mosquitoes go hungry.
Day 22 - First day of baling. No broken belts. Too hot for bugs. God is back in his heaven.
Day 23 - Murphy notices that things are going good. 3 broken belts. Good thing we stocked up on belt lacing.
Day 24 - Not real sure what we ever did to Murphy, but if we ever find him, we'll kick his butt. 3 broken belts, and a baler pickup that decides it dosn't need to be attached to the baler. And no parts in town. You'd think they'd stock parts for this kind of failure. Lets see what we can do with this baling wire and duct tape.
Day 25-32 - To heck with Murphy. Someone upstairs dislikes us. Got the right parts for the pickup on Day 26 though. Mind you on day 28, it fell off again. But call the Guiness World Record Book folks! No one, anywhere, has ever had a pickup fall off, two bearings blow, and two belts break.
At exactly the same time.
The parts guy in town says he appreciates us sending his kids through college and all.
Day 33 - First cut all wrapped up! Normal beer bash celebration is cut short by lack of blood. Sleep for three days after speaking with therapist. Tell the banker that therapist has prescribed a new baler.
Now we see y'all makin' little violins with your fingers, and settin' out to town to get us some cheese, but y'all don't understand something:
That was the first cut. A normal year will see at least two cuts, if not three. Its enough to make a cowboy want to pack up his bags, and move his critters to someplace that has year round grazing...
Rod
A few years back, I co-authored a book of short stories (Dateline Dinky Creek) with a gent from California, and I found one of the stories I wrote may have some relevance to y'all:
Makin' Hay - The Cowboy Way
There are four seasons in any given year.
This is a fact. Or so most people believe this to be a fact.
We here at The Cowboy Way know this statement to be false. Or at least it is from our side of the fence. Up here, on the Northern Range, we have three seasons:
Makin' hay, haulin' hay, and feedin' hay.
Rolling into a hay field with what amounts to an 18 foot wide lawn mower that cuts at 12 mph has a certain manly appeal. And the actual baling process is about the only job you can do where weaving all over the place won't see you locked up over night, trying to scrape together enough nickels for bail money. So makin' hay can be a downright pleasurable experience.
And we even know some folks for which this holds true. You know the types. Sparkling new high capacity hay balers that crack out 2200 lb, perfectly tied and shaped bales. Brand new haybines with air-conditioned cabs. Spiffy tractors with air-ride seats and a shower in the back. For these guys, hayin' is a great way to spend a couple months of the year.
Since our operation up here is slightly lower budget than many, we've had to cut a couple corners to make ends meet:
Sparkling hay balers? The only sparkle you'll find on our balers is the sparkle of fresh hydraulic fluid leaking from another worn fitting.
Perfectly tied bales? On one side anyway. Maybe. Doesn't matter. When the critters find that hole in the fence we've been meaning to patch, all the twine at the Co-op won't hold a bale together.
Air conditioned cabs? We'd be happy to have a cab. Any cab. One from a Gremlin even.
Air ride seats? This we have. Although some have told us that an old tire tube inflated to 32 PSI, and stuck under our butts doesn't count.
But, with a proper attitude, makin' hay can still be a pleasurable
experience, even for us financially-challenged cowboy types. Or at least thats what we tell ourselves as we roll into the first field of the new season.
Unfortunately, Old Man Murphy, his law, and reality usually beat that little bit of optimism clean out of our bodies within the first five or ten minutes. And the rest of season is spent Makin' Hay - The Cowboy Way:
Day 1 - Preventative maintenance day. Grease. Oil. Skinned knuckles. Banged heads. Jacks that slip. Slip joints that don't.
We're not gonna talk about this anymore. Its just not pleasant.
Day 2 - First day of cutting. The birds are chirping. The sun is shining. You've managed to beg 12 days off from your day job. God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.
First couple of rounds, things are going pretty smooth. A few bugs that need to be squashed. Canvasses that need straightening. A couple knife teeth that just ain't gonna cut it. Back to the yard to make the necessary corrections.
Hmmmmm. Starting to cloud up a bit.
Finish making corrections, just as the first rain drops hit. Day 2 normally ends with a mad dash to the house, where its dry.
Day 3 - The rains cometh. Might just as well make some money, instead of staring out the window at the squall. Back to the day job.
Day 4-14 - Arc Building - The Cowboy Way. The haybine is sitting in a foot of water. The baler floated away sometime last night, taking your best cow dog and two 3/4" wrenches with it.
Day 15-17 - Whats that we see? The sun? By the end of the 17th day, its time to make an attempt at getting the haybine out to the back quarter. By some miracle, we make it, but just barely.
Too bad the shop truck driver wasn't smart enough to see the mud flying off the tires BEFORE they tried to follow the haybine into that low spot. The rest of day 17 will be spent walking back to the yard, and pulling the dually out of the lake.
Hmmmmm. The rains sure brought the mosquitoes on.
Day 18 - First real day of cutting. 3 broken canvasses. 6 plug-ups. Per round. 20 acres total knocked down. At this rate, we should be done next year sometime.
Feeling a little tired. Mosquitoes probably drained 6 gallons of blood today.
Day 19 - First smooth day of cutting. Only 2 plug-ups and a gallon and a half gallon of blood lost.
Day 20, 21 - High gear cutting. By the end of day 21, cutting is all
wrapped up. Only ran out of gas once. Too bad the shop truck was making a food run. Oh well. Walking is good for the soul.
Besides, we couldn't have the mosquitoes go hungry.
Day 22 - First day of baling. No broken belts. Too hot for bugs. God is back in his heaven.
Day 23 - Murphy notices that things are going good. 3 broken belts. Good thing we stocked up on belt lacing.
Day 24 - Not real sure what we ever did to Murphy, but if we ever find him, we'll kick his butt. 3 broken belts, and a baler pickup that decides it dosn't need to be attached to the baler. And no parts in town. You'd think they'd stock parts for this kind of failure. Lets see what we can do with this baling wire and duct tape.
Day 25-32 - To heck with Murphy. Someone upstairs dislikes us. Got the right parts for the pickup on Day 26 though. Mind you on day 28, it fell off again. But call the Guiness World Record Book folks! No one, anywhere, has ever had a pickup fall off, two bearings blow, and two belts break.
At exactly the same time.
The parts guy in town says he appreciates us sending his kids through college and all.
Day 33 - First cut all wrapped up! Normal beer bash celebration is cut short by lack of blood. Sleep for three days after speaking with therapist. Tell the banker that therapist has prescribed a new baler.
Now we see y'all makin' little violins with your fingers, and settin' out to town to get us some cheese, but y'all don't understand something:
That was the first cut. A normal year will see at least two cuts, if not three. Its enough to make a cowboy want to pack up his bags, and move his critters to someplace that has year round grazing...
Rod
08-19-2004, 04:08 PM
#3
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Drive till ya hit a Polar Bear, then go back 50 miles
Posts: 1,062
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
<chuckle> That story was wrote quite a few years back, just shortly after I moved back to the ranch. All I had for cutting was a WELL worn 400 Versatile swather, and the baler was an even more well worn 5510 Hesston Rounder, possibly the worst baler to have ever rolled a bale.
Rod
Rod
08-19-2004, 05:50 PM
#4
Registered User
Rod if you convert all that Murphy stuff to hauling cars, I can fully understand. And that with my whole experience in the hay of being a teenager and trying to make crop circles with some young girl 
In less than six months I went for two lift pumps, a VP44, a water pump, an engine rebuild, an engine replacement, a head gasket, a rear axle rebuild, another engine replacement and some minor stuff that I have recorded but not in memory.
At least if you have a good outlook, you can say that at least the hay is in, or in my case, i'm still moving cars. I never was able to figure out if I was being told to get out of it or just my determination was being tested. I am sure that a lot of people are well acquainted with Murphy, especially after naming the truck Murphy and then seeing an 18 wheeler with the name brasenly painted on the side. Such is life...
In less than six months I went for two lift pumps, a VP44, a water pump, an engine rebuild, an engine replacement, a head gasket, a rear axle rebuild, another engine replacement and some minor stuff that I have recorded but not in memory.
At least if you have a good outlook, you can say that at least the hay is in, or in my case, i'm still moving cars. I never was able to figure out if I was being told to get out of it or just my determination was being tested. I am sure that a lot of people are well acquainted with Murphy, especially after naming the truck Murphy and then seeing an 18 wheeler with the name brasenly painted on the side. Such is life...
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post