dodgeguy71

So I was talking to my brother-in-law and sister today and we found out that they paid the Washington Mutual CEO something around 19 millions dollars for 9 days of work? Not sure on exact numbers, it was 6am on the job and been up since 3:30am.

All these CEO's making these incredible amounts of money for running companies straight into the ground. One CEO got paid 84 million for one month of work, I'm betting most of it was spent on the golf course....yeah, "work".


SOoooooooo, I decided that I am gonna do some freelance work. I want to put it out there, Lary I can do this for you too!

My Name is shawn and for 4 million dollars I will run your company into the ground! Guarenteed stock market crash, laid off employees, devalued stock that I will sell off before it bottoms out to further benefit my own net worth.

I can pander and squander your shareholders funds, government loans giving you at the end.....a worthless turd. I'll make sure I have at least 50 million of your companies funds in offshore bank accounts for my "retirement", at least two cigarette boats, several yachts and of course houses in Maui, Miami, Cannes and Vail. I will also complain relentlessly about how under funded my company supplied retirement fund is and demand an additional $800,000 on top of my record breaking, New York Yankee type yearly income.

I'm taking a HUGE paycut unlike the folks recently viewed on national television. If you pay me 4 million, as opposed to 84 million that is exactly 80 more million dollars I can just blow away and loose for you! I'm Just crazy enough to do it!!! JUST FOR YOUR COMPANY!! And I can guarentee that I'll be there for more than a month!! You will actually get to know my name.
I can also do this for your power companies, holding companies, mortgage(a breeze), you name it I will take it down in a spectacular ball of flames!!

Also Included in this sweet deal is Congressional inquiries, Senatorial inquiries and possibly judicial with a slight hint of prosecution where employees may(and I use that as a BIG may) have a short vacation at one of Uncle Sams finest hotels.

shawn will uterly guarentee your companies demise. You can call, email, wave me down. If you call, email....wave me down RIGHT NOW I will throw in a $50 coupon!! You cannot pass up this deal!! I will destroy your company for a fraction of the price of the other guys!! Need me to get on tv and tell O'reilly that the company is in swell shape, no problem, how big of a lie do you want! Over inflated quarterly profits? Forcasted outlooks that "bend" the numbers? No problem, I have all bases covered and satisfaction is 100% guarenteed!! CALL TODAY!!

(congressional/senatorial and Judicial hearings will have the buck passed from shawn-said CEO at the time of the flaming ball. In order for this mission to be accepted by shawn he will need a lear jet on standby, passport and 4 million deposited into a Swiss account. shawn will accept no responcibility for said demise of your corporation,LLC, proprietorship and any other business type. shawn will be a ghost, a figment of your imagination, like the "flashy thingy" from "Men In Black". shawn will most likely lay blame on next in command and any other overly paid executives, all blue collar workers will be spared.....other that the fact that you are now out of a job, shawn says sorry. shawn also says watch out he may actually take your 50 million that he has in offshore accounts. shawn may or may not be an assumed name. shawn may be using a different name at time of employment but do not assume that shawn is his/her real name. In case of any television, film, photo appearances shawn will replace pictures/use fall guy(second in command) as a decoy

Number47

now thats a good one

Fronty Owner

you will need to meet a few other CEOs first.

Most CEOs are also on the board of directors for other companies.

Totallyrad

You've heard the saying "a day late and a dollar short"? The new financial bailout bill is suppose to address the "golden parachutes" these CEOs have been receiving for just such actions. But just in case, in the off chance you find such a job, I would like to submit my request to be your personal assistant. What are my qualifications you ask? I can spend with the best of them!

chipmonk

well done!

if i ever have a multi-billion dollar company the needs to be run into the ground, you're my wing man!!!!!

Redleg

Yeah, a day late and a dollar short. I already have a CEO running a company into the ground, but thanks for the offer.

Timmay2

Rofl.... Too funny.

MikeyB

Three CEO's of the company I work for had no problem doing that either. And they walked away with millions of dollars for their parachutes. It's the old saying 'Not what you know, but who you know'.

MikeyB

donnee

Does anyone happen to have a copy of the rule book where it shows that John and Jane Q. Public have to pay thru more taxs and lower wages for the irresponsible actions of some CEO's?
I seem to have misplaced mine.
Thanks.

nkennedy

That's a funny post, but it's a sad comentary on th USA. CEO's thieving is the type of thing that has killed American labor, and made us the laughing stock of the world in business. You gotta have some fancy 4 year degree to steal that much though.

bentwings

Want to hear someting funny??? I just received the 5th WAMU credit card. Unasked for. Pre-approved.

They make good squeeges for applying finishing resin to my model airplanes.

They also apply bondo in small areas.

I suppose they would make nice 200 yd targets for you rifle guys. haha

dodgeguy71

I might know a guy....

oldmikegraham

I don't have a copy but came across it's first 10 rules;

10 Planks of the Communist Manifesto

1.Abolition of property in land and application of all rents of land to public purposes.

2.A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.

3.Abolition of all right of inheritance.

4.Confiscation of the property of all emigrants and rebels.

5.Centralization of credit in the hands of the State, by means of a national bank with State capital and an exclusive monopoly.

6.Centralization of the means of communication and transport in the hands of the State.

7.Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the State; the bringing into cultivation of waste-lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

8.Equal liability of all to labour. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture.

9.Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of the distinction between town and country, by a more equable distribution of the population over the country.

10.Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children's factory labour in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production

How did WE let our leaders get closer to this than our US Constitution?