CHarlan

After 8½ years of on and off dating since we met in 9th grade in 1994, my ex girlfriend and I got back together around Christmas.. I thought this was the best thing in the world, and felt like I was at the top of the world.. A week later, I get stood up on New Year's, and had not seen her, or heard from her till I ran into her at a Rodeo the night before Valentine's with her sister... she had no excuse, and said we would &quot;Talk about it later&quot;... Wow, what a way to throw something away... I would rather be friends than nothing, know what I mean?? We were never married, but at times acted like it.. Oh well, thats my story.. Being 23, 8½ years with someone is a long time, I think.<br><br>-Chris-

pwabbott

God's plan did not provide for Divorce. Marriage is a committment between two people. God does understand that being human means people make mistakes and will be out of His will. He is there ready to pick up the pieces regardless of the stupid things we do at times. He is ready to forgive our failures and work things out in spite of our mistakes. We must approach him with a forgiving spirit.

Sometimes in spite of our best a spouse insists on breaking the marriage committment and refuses to work on restoring the marriage vows. When this happens there is little the other partner is able to do.


Hoss &amp; SuperiorDiesel03, the admonitions in the Bible on Marriage were given primarily to the 1st Century Christians as a model for all future generations of believers. God knew that unbelievers would not be able to follow them.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives, as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
As far as God prohibiting divorce for any reason, please cite the scripture which states that prohibition.
Mat 5:31 &quot;It was also said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce.'
Mat 5:32 But now I tell you: if a man divorces his wife for any cause other than her unfaithfulness, then he is guilty of making her commit adultery if she marries again; and the man who marries her commits adultery also.
Yes, He hates divorce but why:
Mal 2:16 &quot;I hate divorce,&quot; says the LORD God of Israel. &quot;I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife.&quot;



&quot;There has never been a happy marriage in which one of the Spouses is a selfish person.&quot;

My $0.02

Mexstan

For a marriage (or any relationship) to work it requires a 60/40 deal. Each partner (spouse) puts in a 60% effort. 50/50 does not cut it!

DPG

Hoss, you are certainly correct, and I admire your tact. I think that the way you stated the Biblical perspective was well put, without flaming or pointing any fingers. <br><br>Sierra Phil, I agree with your response as well. <br><br>HEY! Some of you guys know more than just diesels!!! <br><br>02DSL: You will be in all of our prayers. Please try to keep us informed as to how you are doing. Specific prayer brings specific answers.<br><br><br><br>DeWain<br><br>

AKDSLDOG

I truly thank you all for your support and prayers, it mean's alot to me in this time on need. I will give you a little back round about me. I Do believe there is a someone up there, I do not go to church because I choose not to. My family was raised catholic, so I tend to lean on those belief's. I have my own way's to dealing with thing's in life. Have I prayed for this to work out?? Yes I have! Every waking minute I pray she will walk up to me, throw her arm's around me and say, I am sorry and I would like to work this out. I would be more than happy to except that and get on with working on this marriage. I am so confused and heart broken at the moment. I never wanted to see this day come in my life. I cried like a baby at our wedding and I am not ashamed to say that. I cried because I was so happy to hear &quot;my father&quot; say, &quot;curt do you take kristen to be your lawfully weded wife?&quot; I hit my heart like a locomotive! I lost it and bawled, and said &quot;yes I do&quot;. I have lived this marriage to those exact word's for five year's (5yr's this July 4th). a couple of week's ago I asked her if she wanted a divorce, it took a couple of minutes and she said yes. I felt like a dagger was just punched through my heart. We had a few long talks about the matter. She say's that she loves me but she is not &quot;inlove&quot; with me, and she is not sure she can ever get that back, so she want's to let me go, so she is not holding me back in life. I told her I would wait to see what takes place and give her space, but she is unwilling to seek counseling or try to move on. She has alot of resentment built up for me from the years past, and I had no idea because she would never talk about anything that was bothering her, so I figured everything was ok. She also said she is sorry for putting the bolt's to me like that, by not talking. So we have decided to file for a disslusion of the marriage. I can see it in her eye's it will never be the same and I am tired of seeing both of us in tear's over the matter. I am looking ahead in life right now and it's a little scary, but I am sure I will prevail and be allright some day. I tell you what, if we get in front of the judge and he/she ask's us, Are you two sure this is what you really want to do? And Kristen say's no, I would gladly take her hand back and begin the road to rebuilding this marriage. She is a great lady, and I truly love her for that. I wish it was differant.<br><br>I thank you all for listening to me bable on and on, this is a great family and I am glad I am apart of it. I have my daughter this weekend so kristen is going to stay with her sister and let me have the house so I will see you all friday morning.<br>Thanks again Curt

MYTRNx3

Well shoot darlyn - Come ta vegas - that always makes everyone feel better!!! I'll buy ya a beer...<br><br>Oh and don't let her take yer truck <br><br>The one saying that got me thru the last year and a half of my life - <br>&quot;Don't be sad that its over, be glad that it happened&quot; <br>So true... Well theres a few others, but they are sure to be censored if I were to post'em...<br> :-* &amp; hugs darlyn...

drawson

I have been going through some of the same things with my lovely wife of almost 20 years in the last 3 months. We with alot of time, alot of prayers, and lot of counseling are working down the path of coming back together. The biggest part of our problems where caused by things out of my control. My wife had been abused starting at age 8 and big time from 14 years old until I got her out of there when we got hooked up. The counceling was what it took to get her to deal with her past and with out that our marriage was over.<br><br>It wasn't all her though I had alot to do with us falling apart. Marriges don't just end all at once they fall apart little by little. The two of us had stopped fighting years ago because we didn't like the bad influence on our small children, we had just held things inside and these small things grew with out being checked and dealt with. I had taken my wife for granted for along time and she me. A marriage doesn't stay the same it is either getting better or worse. I was thinking we where on an even keel ???<br><br>I have had a second chance on my marriage and I will never take it for grantred again. A successful marriage is work. Our counceler told us our first session I can't save your marriage it will take the both of you to do that. I was the one in our marriage that didn't want to go to counceling but let me tell you it along with alot of prayers have worked wonders!!!!<br><br>There is one thing that has haulted me through out this, I Know that God wants us together, but I also know ultimately it is my wifes choice. Part of this life is choices and even God won't take that choice away.<br><br>Curt my prayers are with you and hopefully your wife can make the right choice!!!<br><br>Dee<br><br>

pwabbott

[quote author=drawson link=board=10;threadid=16002;start=15#152170 date=1056326086]
I have been going through some of the same things with my lovely wife of almost 20 years in the last 3 months. We with alot of time, alot of prayers, and lot of counseling are working down the path of coming back together. ....

There is one thing that has haulted me through out this, I Know that God wants us together, but I also know ultimately it is my wifes choice. Part of this life is choices and even God won't take that choice away.

Curt my prayers are with you and hopefully your wife can make the right choice!!!

Dee


[/quote]

drawson, Thanks for sharing, as you have done. Your advice is sound and as many of us can attest you are so correct.

Remarks as made in another post on this thread &quot;Well shoot darlyn - Come ta vegas - that always makes everyone feel better!!! I'll buy ya a beer...&quot;, are not helpful nor are they welcome to those hurting because of relationship problems. They illustrate a disposable mentality, &quot;throw away and get a new one&quot; which is so prevalent in our society today.

Hold on to what you have and cherish it, the grass is definately Not greener elsewhere.

Thanks for listening.