How to get your wife to smack you
12-20-2005, 09:19 PM
#31
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Hey, Im only 14, But in study hall i turned to my gf, Rachael, and said
Before I could get the P out of my mouth I was singing saprano for a bit and bout a month later we broke up....
PS..Kendall was a 4 year crush of mine that i have barly gotten over..and rachael had already hated her....
"Hey Kendall....O CRA*"
PS..Kendall was a 4 year crush of mine that i have barly gotten over..and rachael had already hated her....
12-21-2005, 12:36 AM
#32
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One time a friend of my parents told us that when his old lady turned fourty he would trader her in for two twenties, to which she said "you aren't wired for 220" 
12-21-2005, 07:41 AM
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After going back to college at age 36 my wife kidded me about looking to trade her in for 2 eighteen year olds - she didn't much like my reply of "Why would I want to double the aggravation I already have by having 2 women to deal with?"
Another one she didn't appreciate - Q: How do you turn your dishwasher into a snow thrower? A: Hand her a shovel.
Another one she didn't appreciate - Q: How do you turn your dishwasher into a snow thrower? A: Hand her a shovel.
12-21-2005, 07:49 AM
#34
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Originally Posted by iker42
Hey, Im only 14, But in study hall i turned to my gf, Rachael, and said Before I could get the P out of my mouth I was singing saprano for a bit and bout a month later we broke up....
PS..Kendall was a 4 year crush of mine that i have barly gotten over..and rachael had already hated her....
PS..Kendall was a 4 year crush of mine that i have barly gotten over..and rachael had already hated her....
~Rob
12-21-2005, 09:48 AM
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Dont really get smacked around, unless I ask for it....um yea nevermind.
Actually we always kid around. Out in public we get into an elevated conversation, and I usually say "shuttup or i'll beat you again like last time" Any woman in earshot GLARES at me Then she says some comeback and I respond "yes dear" and run over like a scared dog. 
The looks on peoples faces!! My wife will point out pretty women and I agree and say only if you help. 
I told her I could never cheat on her because I dont have enough balance to keep me and another woman on top of her.
Actually we always kid around. Out in public we get into an elevated conversation, and I usually say "shuttup or i'll beat you again like last time" Any woman in earshot GLARES at me
Then she says some comeback and I respond "yes dear" and run over like a scared dog. The looks on peoples faces!! My wife will point out pretty women and I agree and say only if you help. I told her I could never cheat on her because I dont have enough balance to keep me and another woman on top of her.
12-21-2005, 04:40 PM
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This was a story from a friend of mine. When her sister was about nine months pregnant, she was having the normal trouble of getting around in Florida in July (something about her size and the heat I guess). Anyway, after she got up off the sofa and made the umpteenth trip to the bathroom, she returned and plopped down on the couch with as much finesse as you can imagine. Seeing this, her husband come up to her and sweetly said "Honey, if you tell me who did that to you, I'll take care of them....."
Not sure if he is getting laid yet again or not....
Not sure if he is getting laid yet again or not....
12-21-2005, 04:48 PM
#38
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Originally Posted by Rick_Orcutt
Not sure if he is getting **** yet again or not....
The Janitor... just tryin' to keep things clean!
12-21-2005, 05:57 PM
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After not gettin any "lovin" for a very long time I told my wife she reminds me of a used car salesman, she "talked" it up before the sale, then when I drove it off the lot the POS broke down.
12-22-2005, 10:22 AM
#43
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Originally Posted by jbevly
My Wife is four months pregnant and last night she noticed that she was starting to get a "pooch"....I told that the "pooch" has always been there! Not Good!!!
I remember when I was showing a house to a couple and I ask the woman "When is the baby due?" ........ she looked at me and said "What baby?"
12-22-2005, 12:45 PM
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Yep ... I am guilty of that one too. One of my young sailors introduced me to his wife, who also had ... a "pooch". The comment flew outta my mouth before my brain could even register saying it. I was truly trying to be sincere and got myself in trouble.
Foot-in-mouth disease is sure rough one to deal with sometimes, huh ?
PISTOL
Foot-in-mouth disease is sure rough one to deal with sometimes, huh ?
PISTOL
12-22-2005, 01:53 PM
#45
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Want to get atleast a dirty look! Read this thread with you wife and then grab madly for the keyboard when you reach the end. All she said was "what do you think you're doing?' and left the room.