<br>1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. <br>2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. <br>3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. <br>4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. <br>5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain. <br>6. A penny saved is a government oversight. <br>7.. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. <br>8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. <br>9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. <br>10. He who hesitates is probably right. <br>11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. <br>12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. <br>13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's <br>really in trouble. <br>14. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words &quot;The&quot; and &quot;IRS&quot; together it spells &quot;THEIRS&quot;? <br>

 

<br> I really like the last one.<br>DM01

 

Thanks for the weekend chuckle Dave. ;D

 

Dave? Are you not taking your medication again? :

 

<br>Ed

 

 

This says it all ;D

 

How true.

 

I like that, Homestead. Where is that brook - - I will bring the body.

 

Friends will help you move.<br><br>REAL friends will help you move bodies.

 

Ah yes, 15, and 16.<br><br>Top, meds in order, it's the tranny fluid runnin' down the arm that did it for me. <br><br>~Dave

 

[quote author=NWDave link=board=10;threadid=15390;start=0#144742 date=1054557506]<br>Ah yes, 15, and 16.<br><br>Top, meds in order, it's the tranny fluid runnin' down the arm that did it for me. <br><br>~Dave<br>[/quote]<br><br> Nothing better than that warm feeling you get as the tranny fluid flows down your arm to your arm pit. Then circles around your back and finally pools in your shorts as you lay on that creeper (fond memories).<br><br> I have a similar one involving diesel fuel and return hoses [undecided]<br><br> I was at my local tire shop having the tires on wifeys truck rotated and balanced, I had just picked up a frame mounted fuel filter for her truck as it had started to leak.<br><br> My buddy at the tire place, Being a nice fellow, told me he would put it on for me so I wouldn't have to mess with it. I then watched him as he got soaked to the armpits with gasoline. <br><br> I gave him a $20.00 tip when he was through for lending me a hand, but I know it wasn't enough for what he went through. <br><br>Fortunately I was able to hold back the laughter until I was well out of ear shot ;D This kind of thing is always funny when it isn't happening to you. 8)