NWDave

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:<br><br>1) The bandage was wound around the wound.<br><br>2) The farm was used to produce produce.<br><br>3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.<br><br>4) We must polish the Polish furniture.<br><br>5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.<br><br>6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.<br><br>7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to<br>present the present.<br><br>8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.<br><br>9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.<br><br>10) I did not object to the object.<br><br>11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.<br><br>12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.<br><br>13) They were too close to the door to close it.<br><br>14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.<br><br>15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.<br><br>16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.<br><br>17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.<br><br>18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.<br><br>19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.<br><br>20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.<br><br>21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?<br><br>Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor<br>ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins<br>weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are<br>candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.<br><br>We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that<br>quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is<br>neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but<br>fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?<br><br>If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?<br><br>One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?<br><br>One index, 2 indices?<br><br>One bonus, 2 boniis?<br><br>Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.<br><br>If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,<br>what do you call it?<br><br>If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?<br><br>If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?<br><br>Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum<br>for the verbally insane.<br><br>In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?<br><br>Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?<br><br>Have noses that run and feet that smell?<br><br>How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a<br>wise guy are opposites?<br><br>You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house<br>can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out<br>and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.<br><br>English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the<br>creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.<br><br>That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights<br>are out, they are invisible.<br><br>P.S. - Why doesn't &quot;Buick&quot; rhyme with &quot;quick&quot;.<br><br>P.P.S. - First you cut a tree down, then you cut it up....<br>

TPilaske

[undecided]

dodgeman01

DeaconWayne

Take the word &quot;rough&quot; (pronounced ruff). Add TH in front of it and now it becomes through (threw). WHY???<br><br>Take Ear (the thing on the side of your head). Add 'ly' to the end of it - 'early'. It doesn't even sound the same as the original word. Now add a 'Y' to the front of all of that - 'yearly'. Why does it now have the &quot;Ear&quot; sound in it? How did that happen? <br><br>Let's try again - take Ear - now add a 'b' to the front of it - same thing - it doesn't sound like Ear. But if you replace the 'b' with a 'd', now it does sound like Ear. No wonder people trying to learn English are so confused. <br><br>The dictionary is supposed to tell you how to spell a word and also give you the meaning. What's the meaning of the word &quot;cat&quot;??? You'll find the dictionary will tell you what a &quot;cat&quot; is, but won't tell you the meaning of the word. Besides, if you can't spell the word, how are you supposed to find it in the dictionary. <br><br>NeverCouldFigureOutTheEnglishLanguageDW