Escalade next to us last night, turned their key to "On-Nonstart" position to use the radio at the drive-in last night instead of to accessories...Movie ends and click-click-click-click....click-click-click-click.

Me: Pop your hood and I'll jump start ya.

I pop my hood, grab my cables, hand the guy one end and attach my end.

The guy stands there looking at the cables, then his battery, then the cables, then the battery.

I look an ponder, what's he doing?

He says which one is which?

I ask, huh?

Which one goes to what?

Uh? Red to red and black to black?

He attaches, his wife turns her over and click-click-click-click-click.

Husband says you(me) need to start your truck.

Me: Uh, no, I don't, try it again.

Click-click-click-click-click

Hmmm? Let me look at this.

Oh? I see the problem...Dude attached the clamps to the insulated wires themselves, not the terminals.

Corrected....Vroom!

 

Funny, but then again no one ever got rich enough to buy an escalade using jumper cables

 

a couple weeks ago I watched a guy tryin to jump someones car, he must have been doin it wrong (they were kinda far away I couldnt see) cause everytime he tried to hook up a lot of sparks would shoot out, and the guy with the cables would run away, then come back and try it again, he did this over and over and over. I thought the car was gonna blow

 

Ya should have hooked him to 24 Volts... that'll fire it over...

 

and if the yuppie was younger than me....

yeah, we'll give this a test to see if the negative ions run the same as my truck. Hold the RED copper end in your hand. put the BLANK clamp on your butt.....

can you tell that once in my life , I took a verbal whippin' from a young, spoiled kid with waaaay too much of daddies money?

tow truck driver being polite for business...never again.

Heidi , just wicked thoughts- no actions....

 

I read your post and I came up with two things...I've had too many IPA's or you did.

 

??????? That TOTALLY confused me..????????

 

Here's another one for you, a friend of mine had a young man 16-17 come by to pick his daughter up for a date, they were going to the movie theater 50 miles away. My friend noticed one of his tires was low, Hey don't you think you should air that tire up before driving it 65 with my daughter aboard....

His response......How do you do that I never have filled up a tire before.....Yeah they walk (and drive too) amongst us

 

Uh, what??? Maybe too many IPAs for me too to understand that post....

 

Whenever I give someone a jump I always connect the cables to their battery because one time I handed someone the clamps and they connected them backwards, there was a lot of arcing and a flash of light just before his battery exploded, the battery was the cheap part of the lesson because it also takes out the electronics.

I have also handed a guy the cables and when I looked over he was trying to find the (+) terminal with his cigarette lighter.
Sometimes I don’t see how they generate enough neurons to move their body let alone think at the same time.

I was at a gas station years ago and there was a pinto next to me and as it was running, gas was spurting onto the ground under front wheel, I told the girl driving there was gas coming out from the front of her car and she gave me a half giggle and said how could that be, I always put it in at the back of the car?

Here is what my jumper cables look like. They bite.






Quote:
Ya should have hooked him to 24 Volts... that'll fire it over...

I worked for the County as a mechanic,
I used to drive a Mack tow truck W/903 Cummins that was 24-volt Positive ground, the jumper cables were connected to a terminal strip on the front bumper, 3 big wing nuts, GND-12V-24V one of the mechanics tried to start a supervisors car and connected it to the 24 volts, there was a lot of smoke as soon as he touched it to the battery, it melted the terminal off the battery and it burned parts of the wiring harness. It only took an instant.

 

that was my point exactly...

 

As a tow truck driver in one of my earlier incarnations, I used the 24 volt trick many times. Just connect for a second or two and the starter really responds! Pay no attention to those sparks! But one day it exploded a battery and I began to re-think the idea.

None of those cars had computers and it won't hurt a starter.


John

 

Great jumper cable stories. I have witness a few people who had no training, or clue about jumper cable.

If the Yuppy had a Toyota, do they go, CRICK, CRICK, CRICK with a weak battery

 

That why we left Brentwood the Yuppies invaded farm land!!!

 

Here is a poem about jumper cables done at the Elko Nevada Poetry Gathering.....


Jumper Cables...

red is hot,
black is not.