Spooler

Look at it this way. She may of gave you the biggest blessing of all. I look at 2 times this happened to me. I am sure glad I didn't marry those 2 because it would of been the worst thing I could ever have done. You don't see it now but you will later. Just do your thang man, the right one will sneak up behind you without you even knowing it. Next thing you know, you will be caught. Hook, Line, and Sinker!!!!!


I always tell my wife, she hooked my, threw me on the river bank, I flopped around a little bit, it was all over but the crying.......

graphitecumnz

I can assure you that only time will really make you ‘feel’ any better. I was in a similar situation about 8 years ago.

I had dated the same girl for 2 years before she did a study abroad program. Some things happened while she was away and I had a difficult time dealing with them and though we tried to stay together, once she got back to the States, things weren’t the same. I couldn’t really tell because I was spending too much time getting wasted and not enough time trying to ‘fix’ our relationship. Anyhow, when she decided it was over, I had no clue... I was totally blindsided. It would take far too long to explain all of the intricacies of the relationship but in all, we dated for around 2 years and 9 months.

The worst decision I made was drinking about it constantly. Really bad idea. Ended up an alcoholic... in recovery now for 20 months. No, I wasn’t drinking about the break-up for 6 years... I'd say avoid the hooch for awhile... could get ugly.

The hurt will probably stick with you for awhile... especially if you had a strong bond. So will the constant reminders of her. There are still songs I hear on the radio that make me think of her... as odd as that may be. Eventually, that hurt will go away. It’s really important to talk about it with someone or with several people and it sounds like you’re doing that... your real friends will let you know when it’s too much.

And, at risk of sounding like a woman, this is probably a good time to see what, if anything, you contributed to the breakup. Then again, she could just be a “insert choice word for unsavory woman”...

Most importantly, you’ll find someone else...

We all still get to keep our man-cards even if we post here right??

and like some others have said, it could be a blessing in disquise... I know for a fact that had that relationship not ended, I wouldn't be posting on this message board, I wouldn't be driving my bad A truck... I'd have 3 kids, a mortgage, a minivan and a family cruiser...

Hoss

While I don't have a minivan, I DO have two kids and one on the way...and a mortgage. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

vzdude

Same here! ^ When the "right" one comes along rip, you'll know exactly why it all happened like it did. Remember an old Garth song........thank God for unanswered prayers! HE works in mysterious ways and the one thing I know for sure.....HE knows what he's doing!

tbarbee1

I agree with the busses theory girls and relationships are in large part BS until you meet the right one. I had a friend tell me that they are all itches except your mom and granma until you meet your wife for the first time. I'd put my $$ on the chance that you probably havent met your wife yet. You will be fine she obviously had no respect for you or she would have looked you in the eye. Since she didnt it makes her look a little guilty doesn't it?? I think if you take the time to see the whole picture you will realize that you are better off with out her. Go find another one and have fun.

tx_2500

Hoss is exactly right. I too had the same situation come up..literally overnight. That was 3 years ago. At least she told you there were "issues". Mine just up and decided she didnt want to be together after almost 4 years. Only in the last year or so have I truly learned everything that went on and how she has still tried to blame it on me and "issues"...but that took 2 years to get out of her.

I know it does not help right now, but take this advice for future relationships. Do not EVER make another person your life. People change, people move on, pass on, whatever. If you base your life around one person, or one thing...when it leaves (and it will) then your entire "life" will come down. That goes for women, pets, jobs, whatever. I made her the center of my world and when she walked out I had nothing left to fall on. And another relationship isnt gonna fix the hurt you have. Go out with your buddies, stay busy, try not to spend too much time quiet alone because thats when all the memories start to creep back in.

I realize its no condolance right now, but its MUCH better to find out now rather than a few years down the road of yall got married and all that.

If you need to talk shoot me a pm...ive been there bro

AkTallPaul

That might be in some places.....Here in the interior villages we are more like 80% male 20 % female...A saying up here is you don't lose your ol'lady ya just lose your turn.....And....The Odds are Good, but the Goods are Odd.

TreeFarm

Next thing you know, someone's gonna do a Montaaaaaana joke.

vzdude

^ I think I've heard of the slogan for that place.......where men are men, and sheep are ........well you know the rest! LOL Just kidding guys.....really!

tbarbee1

you guys need to check out the last page of the more humor thread.

Its Baaaaaaaaad.

butchb

R112, After being there, done that a couple of times, I can tell you it gets better. Takes a while, at first I thought of my ex once every 5 mins, then once every 10 mins, once an hour, once a day. You get the message! It does get better, but hurts like Hell for a long time no way around that.

Follow Tx_2500 advice, "I know it does not help right now, but take this advice for future relationships. Do not EVER make another person your life. People change, people move on, pass on, whatever. If you base your life around one person, or one thing...when it leaves (and it will) then your entire "life" will come down. That goes for women, pets, jobs, whatever. I made her the center of my world and when she walked out I had nothing left to fall on. And another relationship isn't gonna fix the hurt you have. Go out with your buddies, stay busy, try not to spend too much time quiet alone because that's when all the memories start to creep back in."

He is right on, I know it doesn't help NOW, but will in the future.
And everybody is right about drinking, it numbs the pain for now, but can OPEN up an ugly can of worms, something else you have to deal with later.

And remember the absolute BEST REVENGE to get on an ex is to......................"LIVE WELL"

mikmaze

best thing about this, is all of her hot friends are now fair game. been there bad my self, came home one day to an empty house, not even a note, she took the dog, the horse..... left me an empty bank account, and most of my stuff.......... to this day never found out where / how she went, I managed to not go off the deep end by staying away from the bottle, figuring if I crawled in, it would have me boxed and in the grond in short order. aTook a long time and reading this brings it all back, makes me want to be an evil, evil person, but can't take it out on the rest of the world when only one made you feal that way, I also feal bad for the next few woman in your life, as you will unavoidably treat them poorly, then a new one will come arond that you will care for and you will be right there where you want to be. do not be too hard on yourself, now go get after some of her friends :P

johnny5.9

I posted on here about this a little while ago. My wife of 6 years this May 10wants a divorce. My wife let her feelings go for about 4 years without saying anything. She doesn't love me anymore and wants desperately to move out. She's looking for a job now and an apartment. Even though when we were broke she couldn't get a job. But now she can! I am definitely more to blame for sure and I didn't treat her right. I'm not judging, but, if she cheated it's usually always for a reason more than physical, something made her unhappy in the relationship. Try to find out why she did it and listen and learn. I really feel for you, it feels like a terrible betrayal and that your life together was a waste of time. I can say that the healing comes pretty quick so take heart. I have been dealing with this for about 2 months and I already have accepted it and am feeling much better. Your girl could change her mind too and want to reconcile, which is fine if you can forgive. But that doesn't always happen. Just be the bigger man and don't burn any bridges. Jesus told us to "turn the other cheek" and that's the best advice. As for being happy again. Think of the things that used to make you happy and focus on those things. If you like fishing use your time you would've spent with her to do it more or anything else. Do a mod on your truck that she would complain about! My wife is taking the dining room set so I'm putting in a pool table! Find joy in the little things and you'll grow from it. I hope this helps. Take care. Don't do anything stupid, it's not worth it. I'm glad I didn't.

CowboyDave

Im not sure of your age, but Im 31 and just went through this a few years ago. We were together for 7 years. Now she is married (to an ****) with kids (also REALLLLLYYYY over weight) and sends me messages online about how much she misses me and my family. I told her when we boke up she would miss me longer than I would miss her. I was right back then, didnt take me long to get over her, and Im right now with the things she tells me today.

The only way I could make myself happy/heal the wounds was to do things """""I""" liked to do. Sometimes it was just doing yard work others it was starting a new project in the garage or finishing an old one. Bottom line is she is gone and for a good reason, be happy. If you find out that she found a new guy and cheated on you, screw it, thats what happened to me and Im just fine and you already know her story. Like say do things YOU like to do and improve life around you. My friend, you will be alright. Grab a cold one, look out the window and see everthing you have before you. Keep on keepin on.

CowboyDave

BTW Im with a great girl now that I love dearly and she does for me too.