For all of you child support paying dads out there
04-24-2007, 10:47 AM
#32
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Yeah, I'm hopin and prayin they'll see it that way.
One of my ex girlfriends from years ago has volunteered to testify as a character witness on my behalf. Somethin you rarely hear about... especially since we split up on a sour note LOL!
One of my ex girlfriends from years ago has volunteered to testify as a character witness on my behalf. Somethin you rarely hear about... especially since we split up on a sour note LOL!
04-24-2007, 11:06 AM
#33
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i hate to say it, but it's cheaper to keep her.
but some of you guys have NO choice, and are just miserable from their treatment. I understand and wish all of you the best of luck.
but some of you guys have NO choice, and are just miserable from their treatment. I understand and wish all of you the best of luck.
04-24-2007, 11:09 AM
#34
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it's also great to hear that none of you are trying to find ways to duck the support. You just want to know that your court ordered funds are going to the children.
I havent heard 1 guy come on here and say that blankety blank blank woman is doing this, that, and the other things to take you to the cleaners more. Sounds like a bunch of level headed folks just trying to get by and take care of their kids.
I applaud ALL of you.
I havent heard 1 guy come on here and say that blankety blank blank woman is doing this, that, and the other things to take you to the cleaners more. Sounds like a bunch of level headed folks just trying to get by and take care of their kids.
I applaud ALL of you.
04-24-2007, 11:43 AM
#36
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I too want to commend you guys on being their for your kids. I'm on the other side of the fight. My two step kids have a worthless, no job keepin', no insurance havin' s.o.b of a father. Some how its my fault that he can't pay child support because he doesn't have any money. The dummy has a college degree and drives a warehouse forklift.
04-24-2007, 12:24 PM
#37
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This would be a pipe dream in that it would probably be impossible to enforce whatever someone would come up with. It is after the fact management, which the best that can be done is "tracking". It wont stop them from spending on the wrong things, as we're still all mandated to pay it (I've been doing it for 14 years).
I'm with a lot of you, the ex is a good mom to my son, but I know she's blowing the child support on anything but him (because he's always calling me for money for himself), but what can I do?
Two more years, and my checks go directly to him (when he goes to college) so I guess I just put up with it.
I'm with a lot of you, the ex is a good mom to my son, but I know she's blowing the child support on anything but him (because he's always calling me for money for himself), but what can I do?
Two more years, and my checks go directly to him (when he goes to college) so I guess I just put up with it.
04-24-2007, 01:23 PM
#38
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Not that I'm not sympathetic to your situation, but this is one of many reasons that I will never divorce my wife. It's a real shame that divorce rates are so high. I read somewhere that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. "Until death do us part" is nothing more than a figure of speech these days. 
I think the only way to control how your child support is spent is to get full custody of your children.
I think the only way to control how your child support is spent is to get full custody of your children.
04-24-2007, 01:37 PM
#39
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Wow, I feel so lucky after reading this thread! I, too, am divorced and pay child support. But my ex and I get along great. If I needed help for some reason she is probably the first person I would call. And vice versa.
I don't know how it works in other states.... But in Texas it is based off of your "net" resources/income. 1 child is 20 percent. 2 children is 25 percent. 3 is 30 percent. 4 or more I believe is 35 percent. That is basically how it works unless something has changed. The custodial parent can also take the non-custodial parent back to court to get the amount of cs amended after like a year if the difference is more than $100 or something like that.
Also, at either age 10 or 12....I think it varies from county to county...the child can decide whether he would rather live with mom or dad. (assuming either would provide a healthy stable home)
I see more and more friends of mine that are divorced and they don't pay any child support. They have like a 50/50 thing where the child is with one parent for a week and then the other for a week and they split any costs outside of that like medical etc.
Again, I feel so lucky. MY ex and I work together to raise our son. There is no animosity. Our marriage didn't work out and I left her. But she is still a great mother and has never jacked with me about the CS or time of possession etc. She knows she can call me and I will help out if something unusual comes up. Does she use all of my CS money as I feel that she should? NO. But my son isn't lacking for anything so I really can't complain.
Remember too, that the CS money is also used to help her pay for housing expenses, water, electricity, gas for the car, wear and tear on the car, the time taking care of the child that she is not free to do something else etc etc etc....and so on and so on. It is not just for clothes and shoes for the child.
I don't know how it works in other states.... But in Texas it is based off of your "net" resources/income. 1 child is 20 percent. 2 children is 25 percent. 3 is 30 percent. 4 or more I believe is 35 percent. That is basically how it works unless something has changed. The custodial parent can also take the non-custodial parent back to court to get the amount of cs amended after like a year if the difference is more than $100 or something like that.
Also, at either age 10 or 12....I think it varies from county to county...the child can decide whether he would rather live with mom or dad. (assuming either would provide a healthy stable home)
I see more and more friends of mine that are divorced and they don't pay any child support. They have like a 50/50 thing where the child is with one parent for a week and then the other for a week and they split any costs outside of that like medical etc.
Again, I feel so lucky. MY ex and I work together to raise our son. There is no animosity. Our marriage didn't work out and I left her. But she is still a great mother and has never jacked with me about the CS or time of possession etc. She knows she can call me and I will help out if something unusual comes up. Does she use all of my CS money as I feel that she should? NO. But my son isn't lacking for anything so I really can't complain.
Remember too, that the CS money is also used to help her pay for housing expenses, water, electricity, gas for the car, wear and tear on the car, the time taking care of the child that she is not free to do something else etc etc etc....and so on and so on. It is not just for clothes and shoes for the child.
04-25-2007, 12:00 AM
#40
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i'm in the same boat here. not really anything i can do to regulate how "she" spends the child support money. i too have noticed same clothes, but new vehicles. and on top of that "mom" is not employed and about 50 pounds heavier. life must be good.
what i am doing though, is having seperate money deducted from my pay checks and going into an account designated for her. and when she is old enough to manage that money it will be more useful to my daughter than any of the other thousands i have already donated to her mom.
darren
what i am doing though, is having seperate money deducted from my pay checks and going into an account designated for her. and when she is old enough to manage that money it will be more useful to my daughter than any of the other thousands i have already donated to her mom.
darren
04-25-2007, 01:32 AM
#41
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Divorce on children is really rough. Its too bad most parents cant put aside their differences for the better of the children and make a marriage work.
On this thread I identify with alot of the guys out there, but I am bothered by alot of what is said because alot of you are still playing a blame game that only ends up hurting the children. Children are not pawns in a chess match.
On this thread I identify with alot of the guys out there, but I am bothered by alot of what is said because alot of you are still playing a blame game that only ends up hurting the children. Children are not pawns in a chess match.
04-25-2007, 04:54 AM
#42
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I am sort of in the opposite boat. I have a 15 yr. old step son and his dad pays a whooping $300 a month, even though he makes well over $100,000 a year. getting him to pay is usually an arguement between my wife and him.
He sees his son every other weekend and instead of making sure he has what he NEEDS he buys him whatever he wants. in just the past few months he has bought him a Play Station 3, a $2,400 laptop and a $500 cell phone and just plain cash, and lots of it. My stepson has more cash on him than any 15 yr. old should have. But try and get him to put money into his college fund or just pay his child support on time and all of the sudden he is broke !!! He also informed us recently that he is going to buy hi a car in a few months. ( I drew the line on this one.. He is going to work for his first car like everyone else does)
This might not sound like a big problem but how can you teach a kid the value of a dollar when he has $300 in his pocket all the time?? Mow the grass for ten bucks? yeah right... This has caused my stepson to have the work ethic of a 2 yr. old. He has absolutely no concept of the value of hard work or any pride in doing a job correctly. He does get outstanding grades in school but I keep telling him that although he is smart he has to learn how to work hard and utilize his intelligence. He just gives me a blank stare !! We live on a farm and a 15 yr old. helping me out for a few bucks would lighten my load greatly. But, this simply is not going to happen.
I can almost guarantee he is going to end up with a college degree and living in my basement because he can not hold a job because his work ethic is non existent...They have a name for this it is called a spoiled brat !! It is a shame too because the kid is very smart and could be taught work ethic like any other kid if his dad would just get on board and cut off the open bank account. But, that would not make him look like super dad then....
He sees his son every other weekend and instead of making sure he has what he NEEDS he buys him whatever he wants. in just the past few months he has bought him a Play Station 3, a $2,400 laptop and a $500 cell phone and just plain cash, and lots of it. My stepson has more cash on him than any 15 yr. old should have. But try and get him to put money into his college fund or just pay his child support on time and all of the sudden he is broke !!! He also informed us recently that he is going to buy hi a car in a few months. ( I drew the line on this one.. He is going to work for his first car like everyone else does)
This might not sound like a big problem but how can you teach a kid the value of a dollar when he has $300 in his pocket all the time?? Mow the grass for ten bucks? yeah right... This has caused my stepson to have the work ethic of a 2 yr. old. He has absolutely no concept of the value of hard work or any pride in doing a job correctly. He does get outstanding grades in school but I keep telling him that although he is smart he has to learn how to work hard and utilize his intelligence. He just gives me a blank stare !! We live on a farm and a 15 yr old. helping me out for a few bucks would lighten my load greatly. But, this simply is not going to happen.
I can almost guarantee he is going to end up with a college degree and living in my basement because he can not hold a job because his work ethic is non existent...They have a name for this it is called a spoiled brat !! It is a shame too because the kid is very smart and could be taught work ethic like any other kid if his dad would just get on board and cut off the open bank account. But, that would not make him look like super dad then....
04-25-2007, 07:18 AM
#43
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I do feel for those who have to pay and really do pay their Child support. I also feel for those who pay and do not see the money going to their kids, which really sucks. But with in my situation, my wifes ex is behind a little of in child support about $15,000.00. I treat my wifes 2 kids as my own, I love them to death. We have gone to our states child support services and has had his pay check garnished but we might get money for a couple of months, than he jumps jobs and we start all over. His CS is about $400 a month for both kids.
God has bless me with a job has good medical coverage for my family and pays me enough money to cover all the needs of my kids and cover some of the wants.
God has bless me with a job has good medical coverage for my family and pays me enough money to cover all the needs of my kids and cover some of the wants.
04-25-2007, 07:45 AM
#44
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I paid child support for 11 years, never missed a visitation. Both girls have graduated from college (I paid for that too) and are happily married.
04-25-2007, 08:15 AM
#45
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Check out this site and see if you can get some insight. Good luck.
My daughter is drawing very little support on her two kids. It was granted while her X was on disability (self induced). Now, he's making 4 or 5 times as much $$$, but she's having a hard time getting any more from him. He's managed to build a new house in the country, buy a new toy hauler, a new ATV and a bunch of other "toy's", but don't think he should help support his kids. Both kids are into sports, etc and he does not donate a penny for that or clothes or doctor bills, etc. The only thing he has going for him is a rich mommy that can afford to "out lawyer" my daughter. She pays more in lawyer fees than I make in a year just to make her baby happy.
As a side note, she doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or run around all the time. The kids are the center of her life.
My daughter is drawing very little support on her two kids. It was granted while her X was on disability (self induced). Now, he's making 4 or 5 times as much $$$, but she's having a hard time getting any more from him. He's managed to build a new house in the country, buy a new toy hauler, a new ATV and a bunch of other "toy's", but don't think he should help support his kids. Both kids are into sports, etc and he does not donate a penny for that or clothes or doctor bills, etc. The only thing he has going for him is a rich mommy that can afford to "out lawyer" my daughter. She pays more in lawyer fees than I make in a year just to make her baby happy.
As a side note, she doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or run around all the time. The kids are the center of her life.