phox_mulder

The fact that "they" always refer to them as "Deadbeat Dads" really chaps my hide.

My ex had custody for 2 years after we seperated, and I was never late with the payments.

I fought for custody and got it.
She has yet to pay a dime willingly.
I have had to garnish her wages since day one.
She keeps quitting her job and getting another one which causes a couple months of no garnishing until the State catches up with her new employment.

I know how it is being spent, since you can't spend what you don't have.


phox

Rare1

Petition the court for custody (and support) on grounds of neglect and incompetence. If you can show that your daughter's standard of living doesn't match the level your support should provide, and that the child is neglected, the court should be sympathetic. There is not supposed to be any bias toward the mother. Also, the desires of the child will be heard. You will need some professional assistance, not the opinion of someone down at the courthouse. A logical presentation before the judge should get results.

223 rules

that's what I'm keeping records for. When I feel that I have overwhelming evidence against her I'm going to let her have it. I don't think though that my daughter would willingly pick living with me because she wouldn't have all the freedoms that she has with her mother. I don't let her rule the roost and she has to remember her mam's and sir's around me. But then again we don't have the arguments they have and her mornings before school are much more pleasant.

scottsjeeprolet

Record keeping is key!
I have custody of my son and the records had a lot to do with it, and a good lawyer.
When you feel you are ready for the fight go get a good lawyer to get in the ring for you. You shouldn't do it yourself. You will be your own worst enemy, you need a lawyer who is not emotionally involved as you are.

CowboyDave

Isnt the fact that she has a 22 Y/O MAN doing drugs living in the house with your Daughter enough to atleast make the court look into you having FC? Reading some of these post and how some of yall Ex's treat the C/S intended for your child makes me want to stay single with no children. I feel for yall guys. Hang in there, it must be rough.

fiveology

Exactly Cowboy, 223 if you can in any way prove the drug use (he was kicked out of school for it right), then you have a case. Forget your anger over the child support money and it's improper use, your little girl should not be brought up in an environment like that. Don't wait until you think you have enough, get started today, right now, get the ball rolling, start contacting people who can help you get your daughter out of that situation. I don't mean to tell you how to handle your business, but if it as bad as you make it sound, your little girl needs help.

skynyrd

i feel for you 223 i'm paying $930 a month for child care and support and i have only been able to see my 8 month old daughter for a total of like 8-10 hours since she was born. as of right now i'm fighting in the court system to just get shared custody and weekend visitations. its a long process so i would say get the ball rolling.

Nate-03 D

Wow! It sounds like some of you have some serious high monthly payments. $800-1000+ is quite a bit. I don't know much at all about custody, ect. But how does the court go about deciding who gets the kid(s) and how much must be payed a month?

What if one person dosen't pay their share?

scottsjeeprolet

There are things called Child Support Guidelines. they take into account income, expenses insurance and so forth to calculate the payments and amount of visitation.

223 rules

It was when he was seventeen he was kicked out of school for bringing drugs to school. He told me that they had a trading club for pills. Also that was in Wisconsin when he was with his father who was going to "keep him on the straight and narrow". I don't believe that he brings the drugs into the house where my ex wife and daughter lives, I just know he's involved with using them. He knows that if anything happens to my daughter that has anything to do with him what will happen.

On another note any of you who are worried about paying for your childs college. In my town if they attend our school system for all twelve years their college is paid for. Less than twelve years in our schools are pro-rated. You can google el dorado promise and find it.

ofcmarc

14 years, 9 months, 17 days.... but who's counting...

CowboyDave

Got some boys down here in Texas that never mind a road trip.

6cylinders

A friend of mine who I have known since highschool just got divorced, married almost 20 years, 2 boys, both in highschool.
He is paying $5,800 a month!
He's a very hard worker and I knew he made good money but I was shocked at that amount. He says he's no different than any other divoced guy, they left him just enough $$ per month to get by on and rent a crappy little apartment.

Gotlift01

That's the darn truth. The courts don't give a flyin hoot how you are going to survive. When I went through my divorce, the took my paystubs and entered them into a computer, calculated how many days a year I would have him, if I was providing the insurance, and pressed enter and WHOLA that's how much I get to pay! They didn't take into account that I was nice enough to take all of the debt from the divorce......she didn't have to pay squat but to them that didn't matter one bit.

Thank god when I went through my divorce I was only making half of what I make now.......so my child support isn't that bad....YET!

The hard part for me is as much as I would love to try for full custody....I can't bring myself to do it. My sons mom is actually a really good mother. She loves my son to death and treats him very well. I never have to worry about him being neglected with her.....but the fact that I know my child support is not really going to him is the part that chaps my butt. But I guess I'm lucky in some respects seeing what some of you poor guys have to go through with your ex's!


~Nick

Jeremy Cusick

I'm going through a divorce, and that's EXACTLY what I'm doing. I go to court tomorrow for custody, as a matter of fact. Shouldn't be too hard to get em, since I already have them living w/ me, she's a meth-head, and she has a recent theft charge against her... and her married live in boyfriend has a class 2 felony charge against him now (caught w/ a loaded gun and no gun card... same night she was caught trying to steal gas). I think I've all but got that wrapped up.

And IF I ever see any child support, it'll be spent ONLY on the boys... and most likely a good portion will be dumped into a savings to allow them to go to college.