223 rules

As a child support paying dad I am ready for some legislation that makes the women accountable for how they spend it. I am tired of seeing my child wearing the same clothes week after week (I try to buy her new ones when I can) and knowing that my ex-wife is using the support money for her 22 year old grown son(not mine) who got kicked out of school for drugs and can't make a decent living. He was not only stealing money from her but she also spent over $500 for renting him a u-haul truck to move his stuff and then the damage he did to it. Not to mention his and his gf's cigarette money. It just burns me up that I work and pay my support for it to go to someone else. I also stay involved in my daughter's life. I got her involved in youth bowling this past year and have carried her to all of her meets even on the weekends that wasn't mine to have her and have purchased all of her bowling equipment. This weekend she had her final tournament of the season which she won her division and her mom couldn't get dressed to make it even though is less than a mile down the street from where she lives. Please guys get in contact with your congressman and let them know that you want two way accountability for your child support. Thanks

dodgezilla04

can you go back to the judge to request receipts and info on how it is being spent? i feel sorry for those folks in these situations. I consider myself lucky my wife and I have never been in this position.

doomgaze

Who determines what is the "correct" use of the money? You? A judge? It's not that I don't agree with you about your situation... its just that its not enforceable by any means.

I have some passionate thoughts on this subject and typed most of them out but refrained from posting them.

Gotlift01

I'm right there with you brother! My ex-wife gets $557 bucks a month from me and I never see any of it going towards my son. Plus I went to drop him off yesterday afternoon......and OH MY what a nice new shiney TAHOE you have now. I can sure see where my money is going! Ticks me off to no end knowing that my money is going to pay her car payment!!

I don't have a problem supporting my kid......even if I had to cough up $1,500 a month I would, as long as it was going to HIM and not her. I'd much rather see the money in a savings account, or a CD for college....but I know when it comes time for him to go to college I'm going to be the one he comes to because she can't afford to send him.


~Nick

Gotlift01

I also forgot to mention that I provide his health insurance, and pay for every single medical bill for him because she doesn't have the money to!


~Nick

Shovelhead

You can always petition for custody and then you can determine how HER Child Support money is spent.....

Gotlift01

Now Ed that would be awesome!! I went to the courts and discussed trying to get full custody about 8 months ago and I was basically told I would be waisting my time.....the mother is always favored in these situations unless I could somehow prove that she was mentally and physically incapable of raising him...or so unfit that it was hazardous to his well-being. It sucks but not much I can do.


~Nick

Hoss

Not that I'm not sympathetic to your situation, but this is one of many reasons that I will never divorce my wife. It's a real shame that divorce rates are so high. I read somewhere that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. "Until death do us part" is nothing more than a figure of speech these days.

I think the only way to control how your child support is spent is to get full custody of your children.

223 rules

By correct use of the money I mean food for her to eat, clothes for her, to help with the monthly utility bills, money for her dance lessons. The child support is NOT to be used for my ex-wife's sons moving expenses, gas money for him and his girlfriend, cigarette money so he can buy drugs with his paycheck. It was her sons decision to take drugs to school and get kicked out and neglect his education. MY child support should not be used for his worthless carcass is my point and it doesn't take any judge to figure that one out. He stole over $300 dollars from her. Guess where the makeup money for that come from.

P.J

This "kid" is 22 you say? What about confronting him privately and threatening to take it out of his hide if doesn't stop leaching off his Mom?

There is NO way you are ever going to have a say in what, where or how she spends that money. Too complicated, too hard to govern.

I vote for petition for custody, much easier in my opinion.

223 rules

I keep good records of all the things that go on. Such as on the weekends that she has her that she is always staying somewhere else. That she hardly ever does anything with her one on one. When she complains of how she can't handle her ( I have no problems like that with her). Every time she calls me crying about their arguing I document it all. I hope one day it will be of use.

Gotlift01

I totally agree with you Hoss! I tried everything to make my last marriage work....we tried getting back together 3 times with counseling and the whole works, but in the end it was better for all 3 of us to go through with the divorce. I guess that's what happens when you get married at 19.....


~Nick

Gotlift01

I'm doing the same exact thing. I have a file on my laptop of everything that goes on. So after I take him home, I fire up the laptop and write everything down. I hope that someday it'll come in handy....probably won't but it never hurts to be prepared.


~Nick

223 rules

Believe me, when I see him while I am shopping at Wally World (where he works) it is all I can do to keep from separating his head from his body. And I know he will run to momma first thing and complain and I am forced to deal with her for my daughter's sake. She would rather stick her head in the sand and pretend he is not on drugs than to face the truth. I have told her repeatedly that he is a grown man and she needs to worry about our 11 year old daughter.

I am just saying that if we men are responsible for paying it they should be responsible for it's use. I know this would be tough to enforce and I'm not saying that I have the answer I just believe that something should be done.

new2ctd

When I got divorced I paid child support cause they said it was the 'law'

After 1 year I went back and got full custody of my kids. But there was no 'law' for me to get child support!!!! She was getting 2200 a month and now she don't even pay lunch money.